So... because I'm a senior in college-- I think I should get a senior discount at Denny's or wherever else those things are given. How about a "Golden Apple" card from Applebee's. Why? Because I don't see why really old people get discounts for being old. YEA! They've lived to be 65! Give them some funds. Yet, we do not have military discounts until they turn 65 and start getting the senior discounts. Sounds unfair to me.

I have about 3 assignments left of the semester. Seriously, I think my brain has just gone "KA-PUT!" My capstone paper... is due the 27th. So, that's technically 7 days. Today I have been completely braindead. I am so tired. I don't feel well. I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I'm bored. I'm distracted. I just... can't seem to do it. Everyone says "How proud they are". I am excited to be graduating. Can't wait. I think the real reason I am having so many issues with these papers is because I know they're my last ones for a long... long.... LONG time. Just got a little teary eyed thinking about it. Yet, I just can't seem to get started on this paper. I actually took some time today to put all the little pieces together (Definition of terms, abbreviations, bibliography, abstract page, table of contents) and I have 11 pages so far!... Yet. I can't count the bib. pages so I'm down to 8. That means that I just need 22 more! I haven't really even started my paper. I have no meat. I have everything else that surrounds it done. I just can't believe that the "FIRE" hasn't been lit under my butt yet. It is due in SEVEN DAYS! I know I will finish it. I know I will. I won't let myself not finish. I just hope it's good. NO! I hope it's STUPENDOUS! This is suppossed to be "THE CROWN JEWEL" of my college career. I have worked way too hard to screw this last 8 weeks up. And what am I suppossed to do after I graduate? I'm already planning on getting a second job during the summer to help the time go by and to earn some extra cash for the move. That is a whole other ballgame. I am excited to leave here... SO EXCITED. I just am a slight bit nervous of my job openings once I get there.

Maybe if I wasn't so distracted by work... and the BOREDOM VORTEX it creates... or HOME, with laundry, dishes, straightening up... or other classes and their stupid filler assignments.... or helping Andrew out with his.... or MAYBE if I hadn't gottena call from a girl semi-last minute asking me to be on the STAKE ENRICHMENT COMMITTEE for an activity I won't even be in town for, I would be better off. I wouldn't be stuck thinking about it everyday, and having to make NINE posters for them. It's all rediculous. And I've worked REALLY hard on these posters... and they look like crap. And not only will I have to announce the activity to the ward and point out the poster in the Relief Society room, but there will also be one posted in the Young Women's room where Andrew teaches his class and the PRIMARY room! It is going to haunt me for the next 3 weeks!

I guess I sound really ungrateful about the whole thing. I should be grateful to give service. It's just so hard when you feel like the whole world is crashing down on you. It all comes down to this. After April 27th, after the paper is turned in and the presentation is over... I will either feel RELIEVED or FRIGHTENED! Let's hope it's relieved so that I can finish up the rest of my assignments that are all due the 1st.

I'm so tired. Sorry for the rant. I can hardly see the screen anymore. Partly from tears but mostly because my eyes have gotten really bad in the past little while... like a few weeks time i noticed how bad they were getting. I am getting them checked on Thursday though, Hope there's nothing seriously wrong.




Christy said...

Don't worry. My best work came "out" the day before. Just make sure you got nothing planned two days before its due.

And seriously. Seniors live on fixed incomes. That's why they get discounts.

April Hardy said...

Seniors get discounts because they have paid their dues to society, you can bet I will be raking in on those discounts when I am their age. I am 27 and already a cheap skate...well I am slowly learning to beat the system and saving Drew and I lots of money. So I can only imagine when my kids are grown and out of the house how much more free time I will have to cash in on my freebies and discounts as an older person. :)
Good luck with school, I won't say I am proud of you, since you don't want to hear it...but it's cool that you are graduating. And frustrating that EVERY teacher makes all your biggest assignments due the last few if you aren't already burned out from the semester and heavily burdened with other assignments. Just focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. You are almost done!!

Sarah said...

I totally know how you feel. I only have one week until my graduation. I just turned in my capstone this afternoon. It took me FOREVER!!! Yet, mine was way longer, it ended up being 112 pages. So hang in there, the ideas will come! I promise!

Cindy Ardis said...

I'm really worried about you. I'd like to say it will be worth it but not if it causes insanity. And sounds like you are on the brink!! Hang in there, mommy and daddy will be there next weekend to pick up the peices of whatever is left of you. Sounds like this paper is sucking every bit of life out of you. Did you try the breathing thing.

Glad you are checking up with the eye doctor, hope all goes well. My vision gets all blurry when I look at this monitor too long.

I love you!!

Andrew said...

so proud of you Stace! I can't beleive you whipped out 20 some pages in two days! it was a great read. we'll get through this togetha' :)


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