Still... kickin' from the inside

So-- I feel like such a wreck. How do most women have postpartum symptoms and I have pre-partum symptoms?

I can't think of anything that would relieve me more than if this little girl were here already.

Today started like a normal Sunday. Not so normally, Andrew woke up slightly grumpy, but luckily for me he turned it around himself by Sunday School 2nd hour. I however, count myself "let off easy"... since he had to deal with my mood swings and random crying outbursts after church. He definitely wins the most "Compassionate, Loving, Wonderful, Can't-wait-for-him-to-Father-my-Children" Award. If I could buy a trophy and fit all that verbiage on there, I would make it for him for our 3rd year anniversary tomorrow!

I'm hoping these mood swings and crying fits are purely hormonal. I don't know if Andrew will say otherwise, but I think I've been really in control this whole time... and now today it burst out of me like a canon. It's like: I want to be alone, but as soon as I am left alone I beg for company. When I say I think sleep will help- I lay down, and then decide it is too darn uncomfortable to stay there. Lucky for me, Andrew has been EXTREMELY patient with me, and also stays completely rational during my crisis... and doesn't take it personally if I say I want to be alone. :) I owe him big time! The outbreak only lasted a couple of hours... but it still haunts me. I hate that feeling of being out of control.

I think it is just everything accumulating, that PLUS hormones, that got me twirled. The constant chatter from Dr's, and let's not forget the little voice that is constantly bugging me from inside my own mind of "When will she be here?" "How will labor go?" "How big is she really?" are killing me. I should have known better that by the end of the pregnancy I could not stand to wait for her to come on her own :) I'm way too impatient... and all the false labor isn't helping either. I've thought every day for the past 4 days was to be the day because I would start having stronger contractions spaced out for a few hours... and then they would abruptly stop. There is no better way to get a prego's hopes up, is there?

I just don't know how much longer I can wait... I'm so excited for the next leg of this journey... to have the reward from this 9 month pregnancy... and to see her little face and to know she is mine... and the look I can practically see on Andrew's face when his eyes fall onto her little self for the first time.

How did you cope with the last weeks.days of pregnancy?




As many of you know- I LOVE dressing up for Halloween! I can usually coax Andrew into any scheme- like our Smurfs from last year :) This year however, was a bit reversed. I had had a rocky Dr's visit the day before our ward party, and I was still an emotional nightmare. I debated all day whether I felt "good enough" to go.

Andrew, seeing my sadness, perked up in hyper gear and came up with a last minute idea for costumes that luckily, we had all the pieces for!

(Sorry, I did the same picture twice, but it won't let me erase it!)

And SURPRISE! Everyone knew EXACTLY what we were! DISNEY TOURISTS! And of course, most of the little girls are dressed as princesses, so we would run up or point them out & yell, "PRINCESS! can I have your autograph!" People were laughing, and it was fun. Andrew took random empty photos with my SLR all night. It was funny. He ahd the goofy look and everything! I give him props for that one.

Even the next day at church we had people saying, "Hey kids look- there's the tourists!". I was surprised that everyone liked our costumes that much. It was fun to be there.

Thanks Andrew, for turning that weekend around for me: I sure do love you :)


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Life Changes fast-- But I'm Excited!