So Many Choices....

Doctors... have never been on my good side. They set you an appointment, ask YOU to come 15 minutes early to fill out paperwork as to not "jam up the process". So, like a good "patient" at the dr's "PRACTICE" site, you show up, take the stupid forms that take you less than 1 minute to fill out. You sit... and you wait... you ask the front desk if they know if you need to take a urine sample b/c frankly---> you really gotta go!

So, you sit there.... and sit there.... and *yawn* sit there. Just as you decide to, then actually pull something from your never-ending baby-version Mary Poppins deep-purse, is when the door swings open and you hear your name by someone holding a clip-board and a stethesscope (however you spell it) around their neck. So, you shove everything else back in your black-hole bag and trudge over. Ge the weight check (every woman's dream).

You check the time as soon as the lady who gets your blood pressure and pulse exits the door and says "Shouldn't be more than a few minutes. SIKE!

The time is now: 3:21. Woah! Only six minutes late so far! So I'm thinking, maybe this'll go quickly, cause I got a million things I need to do. So I sit..... and sit... pull up my legs on the table indian-style and sit... and then lean back against the wall.... and lean my head against the wall and sit... close my eyes... start to drift... when BAM! You wonder "How LONG have I been sitting here?" You check the time. It is now, 3:58... and silently brooding, you decide to give it 15 mintues (to make it a full hour) before you unleash your version of gnashing of teeth and eternal racking. Time gets closer... closer... and at 4:05 you realize:

It is a GOOD thing they take your blood pressure at the beginning of the appointment and NOT at the end. OTHERWISE- you would be under the highest dose of blood pressure meds to "take it down".

Just as you begin to think of what the first thing you will start yelling at the poor unfortunate soul that you first see when the clock chimes 4:15, a *KNOCK!* on the door. Lo and behold, here strolls in the dr.

Seriously? Who made these people who commonly are known to have "god-complexes", the right to make me, their customer, wait an HOUR in order to grace me with their presence? Seriously? If you wanted to talk to me at 4:15- you should have set my appointment for 4:15, not waste an hour that I had to lose work for! Think about it, what OTHER "PROFESSION" allows that kind of delay and gets away with it? Airports? Maybe- but they'll give you food vouches if you complain. Restaurants? They'll give you free dessert. Corporate Execs? If you start that meeting an hour late, you betcha someone's job is toast.

So, I'm royally pissed that they waste an hour of my time, then make me pay buco bucks to let them "diagnose me" with ailments and wonder "Hmm.. I wonder why that med didn't work- let's look at taking this one... It is usually used for chemotherapy cancer patients, it does have a portion of what is found in ABORTION pills, you will need to take FOLIC acid in order to counteract the drug's destruction of your own. So, if you are planning on having kids any time soon, don't. Seeing as this drug will cause defects in the baby. (THAT's real comforting.) Oh wait, you're not on birth control? Oh, your other doctors thought it was a bad idea? Hmm... Well, you will need to be EXTREMELY careful. See, if you were to become pregnant, seeing as you would be taking a pill with certain abortic elements, it would be a very hard choice to make...It is going to help "stablize" your white blood cell count, which will reduce the inflammation. However, we will need to test your blood every 3-4 weeks in the beginning to make sure we aren't totally killing ALL of them and that the level doesn't get 'too' low. Then we will also need to monitor your liver.. seeing as you would hate for that to fail! Oh what's that? You almost had liver failure in 2005? Oh no biggie. As long as you don't have hepititus B OR C- You should be okay."

Is anyone else buying this?


Kaycee said...

Staci -
I feel ya sista! It does totally stink to wait and wait only to have the doctor play guessing games to try to figure out what they can do. It is called "practice," right? Ugh!

All the best to you girl! Love you!

The Canciennes said...

I had a doctor forget about me while I was waiting in the examination room. I had a friend who was waiting in the waiting room for two hours. The receptioninst came to turn off the lights (her desk was around the corner so she can't see anyone who is in there) noticed her sitting there. They forgot about her all together!! The ENT I went to for Jack left me waiting in the room. Jack had enough time to take a nap and wake up again, before he came in just to keep his back to me the entire time while asking me questions! Maybe so I couldn't recognize him in the parking lot and run him over!

Christy said...

I laughed when you talked about finally unloading your purse to find something to do in the waiting room and then they call your name... happens to me every time.

And all the other stuff, you'll have to tell me more about tomorrow.

Momma_S said...

Can I get an AMEN, my sista?!! Gotta luv the dr. appt.Don't forget the "Please don't use your cell phone while you wait an hour and begin to doze off". I got an idea, when they ask you to pay tell them, "Psych, I only pay people that give me satisfactory customer service."

That medicine sounds ominous.Hope it all works out. Luv you!!

Cindy Ardis said...

Your discription of your dr. visit was hillarious. I am proud of you for haning in there. I've been to many a visits with you like that. I'm sorry is was so terrible, I wish I was there to help you.

Heather said...

I HATE DR.'s office visits. Except Bryan's. Amen to the other professions not able to get away with that. If someone has to wait 10 to 15 min. on Bryan they get mad. Medical Dr.'s stink. Bryan hates them for all the reasons in your awful afternoon at the Dr.'s office.

Lindsey said...

Hey! i hope you read old comments because I found a site I HAVE to share with you:

I go there to get good recipe ideas for cheap. But she has a whole section just for gluten free recipes too!! I thought every little recipe might help!

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