With all the emotion testing and new outbreaks, and everything relating health... I've been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. I've been more accutely aware of how I'm feeling. Feels like the emotional testing actually takes the blame away from you and places it on someone else. Like the other day, I was so angry I was literally shaking and would not smile at anyone who came my way. So I grabbed Stephanie and asked her to test me. Sure enough, there were some emotions sitting right on top. When she released the third one, I literally felt like I had a shot of morphine come over me. Stephanie said she could feel it too.
I have definitely been aware more of people's actions, right or wrong, and the lack of consequences lately. Maybe it was because of the most recent general conference was about being true to yourself and consequences of choices. I dunno. But it seems like I am more aware of people's lack of responisbility, and who they dump it on. As you can probably tell by the forshadowing, it seems like I am always the one who gets the job done.. for everyone.
I also laughed at the one talk in GC where the statment about how people who have less busy schedules than others think they are less important. PSH. That is so crazy. I would ADORE a schedule where I wasn't so busy. I'm lucky I have a smartphone now so that I can keep up with Andrew and myself. Between work, school, and church, and "favors" for other people, we are flying by the seat of our pants. It's just rediculous.
I don't mind doing service. AT ALL. I love helping people who are in a real need. However, I also like it when people know when a future event is happening, and they will need help at that time. That's great. What's NOT great, is when they ask me to do something seemingly simple, and I agree, and then it turns into this huge ordeal because of hidden tasks that they did not mention upfront. I'll give you a hypothetical situation. Jane Doe asks me to let her dogs out for her at a future date for when she goes into labor. GREAT! I love dogs, and would love to help! Sounds simple enough, right? Go over there a couple times a day and let them out. But oh wait, a few weeks later as the due date draws near here comes a list of things to do. They need to be let out at certain times a day, need to be fed certain times a day, one has certain vitamins with her meal, one can't be left unattended... oh yeah, and one of the scheduled times is while you are at work.... How can you possibly achieve that one? Oh yeah, and when you come for the first time first thing in the morning to let them out, apparently one of them has neurological problems that causes her to run in circles and is also totally skittish to strangers and won't go near them. That would be good information to know before hand, right? 'Cause if you had known you would have gone over there a few times to meet the dog so she wasn't totally afraid of you.
This is just an example of irresponsibilities I feel like I have to deal with on a weekly basis. I love to help. But jeeze, HELP me HELP you!
I Know this is a totally bummer blog post. But maybe it's a good reminder for some not to have hidden agendas or maybe for everyone to reset their clocks to the times.
My message if I were a general authority: Stop blaming others for your mistakes. And also one of my favorite quotes: "My failure to plan ahead does not create an emergency for you today".
THANK YOU NEW YORK!
