It's Been A Hard Days Night!

Pictured here is Brooklyn at her 4 month mark :) My sister April came to town and we had so much fun! Her kids were at good ages where it didn't take long for them to warm up to me! April pulled out her camera one day and took these awesome pictures of Brooklyn. Thank you April!

As of this past Monday, Brooklyn is now 5 months old! We have had one session of trying to feed her rice cereal! It went great! She was slurping like a pro! She is such a wonderful girl!

Pictured below is the start of our 3 month food supply! Who said canning had to be boring... or only grains? My mom made each of us kids a binder on ideas for starting our years supply of food. She challenged us to start getting at least a 3 month supply!
We have the more useful stuff like 30 lbs of beef done and 10 lbs of chicken. However, if we plan on really eating this stuff we decided to go a little crazy! So, we have 2 quarts of pecans, 2 quarts of almonds, one quart of sunflower seeds, 2 quarts of pistachios, and pints of candy! In the above picture it shows rolos, reeses pieces, mini reeses, hersheys drops, muddy buddies, and the classic m N m's! We also have 2 quarts of chex mix, and 2 quarts of chex mix "sweet n salty" variety! Woohoo!

Next group we have coming are beans, and soups! 3 month supply, here we come!


It feels good to start getting prepared!

We also just finished over General Conference weekend Brooklyn's 72 hour kit, and also updated Andrew and mine!

Check ya later!

-Sanders Out

A Labor of Love Story

** WARNING- What you are about to read is a TRUE STORY- and may not be appropriate for younger audiences. Reader discretion is advised**

:D

As of yesterday my baby is 3 weeks old. Feels like she is so much older than that! (I'm sure some sleepless nights and crying has nothing to do with that:) It's also partially because we feel like we have known her forever. It's an awesome feeling.
So, here's our starter story:

The weeks leading up to delivery were probably the most stressful of my life. My dr, who I don't even want to call "my", had been pressuring me to do a c-section since week 36 because baby's head was measuring "large" and by the computer software's calculations she would be anywhere from 9-10 lbs. His reasoning was this: "I just don't know that your pelvis can handle a baby of this magnitude." He would even admit that the software could be wrong... blah blah blah. He would admit there was a 10% error margin. So she could be anywhere from 8-10 lbs. But, he would never admit that she could be only 8 lbs. His eyes were focused on 10+lbs.
I told him the next visit that c-section was out of the question. The only way I was doing it was if it was an emergency during delivery. If I had to be induced (which I also didn't want), because of her size I would want that first. He would put on an apathetic face and say "Look, if you want to attempt at a v. delivery, feel contractions, give it a go- we can do it your way. My fear is that your baby's head is just too large to "drop" into your pelvis, and after hours and hours of laboring you'll end up needing a c-section anyway. But, if you want to give it a go, we can do that."
Great guy right?
Well, the only "progress" I had made was on Monday the 7th (Our 3 year anniversary). I was effaced 25%, and I was excited about it. Unfortunately, he didn't take that as "real progress". "Even if we induce you, there is a possibility that you will labor for 24 hours and not dilate. Then we'll need to do a c-section. You have an "unwilling" cervix. But we can give it a go if you would like."
After hearing that I was going to try to be induced by acupuncture on Wed Nov 9 (her due date), he said he would like to see me that afternoon. I came in, still no change. "We need to talk about your options. This baby is only getting bigger! We can schedule a c-section for tomorrow or Friday, and you could be holding your little one before the weekend is here!"
"What about induction?" I asked.
"Well let me see here. *PAUSE*. The earliest we could schedule you to come in Tuesday night to be induced Wednesday morning? I will not allow you to go beyond 41 weeks. It's my policy."
(Me: [in my head] "Really? You want to give this already "large" baby another week's worth of growth before inducing me? Are you crazy? I've got your crazy.")

"Yes. Schedule me."
So, we prayed and prayed and hula-hooped, and took herbs, and did electro-acupunture, and acu-pressure, and jumped up and down, and walked stairs, and took walks, and all sorts of other ideas to get baby girl here before Tuesday. But alas, Tuesday afternoon arrived for my appt, and no baby or contractions arrived. My mom went with me to my appt since I coaxed Andrew into going to class with a promise of I would call if I had made progress. No progress.

My mom was coming to meet the doctor. She wanted to see if my stories of this man were true or not. Needless to say, she didn't even like him! That's how awful he is! My own mother, whom likes everyone, didn't like him. In her words, "He's creepy." YEAH!

So, we head to my apartment and I pull out the unused "Go bag" which I came to find was more of an "incomplete" bag. It gave me something to do as I waited for Andrew to come home from class. He walked in the door to see my mom sitting on the couch and came in to the bedroom. I had stayed strong until the moment. As he came to hug me I burst into tears. All of this was so wrong. Not only wrong, so unnatural for me. I wanted this little girl to come on her own, and now she didn't have the option.

We stopped at Burger King on the way. We made it to the hospital and they put us in a room (GIGANTIC ROOM). "Take off all your clothes and put the gown on," a nurse said.

"Can't I at least keep my t-shirt on?" I asked.
"Nope. Sorry."
That was when I started getting angry. This is not what I wanted. I wanted to wear my own clothes, be able to roam the halls, and feel like myself. I already felt like a prisoner.

Soon after a couple of nurses came in. One to ask me a million questions, and the other to insert an IV. I couldn't hold back tears. I hated this. Loathed this. The one doing the IV asked, "You ok?" When I returned a blank stare, she prompted "Just excited?"
"No," I whimpered.
"You're not excited? C'mon, you shouldn't be sad- You're about to have a baby!"
Andrew then nicely and calmly explained my hatred of IV's and medical stuff. The nurse then felt it important to explain to be the benefits of having an IV. I'm not stupid, and I knew all the information anyway.
"This isn't my first time getting an IV."
She picked a spot on my forarm and said it was a "Tender spot" so try not to move from the pain.
"I'm about to experience labor, and you think I'm scared of an IV?" I said. "That didn't even hurt," I said as she stuck it in.
She looked up at me with a scrunched fae and said "Opsss... You're gonna have a bruise.... I missed!" I look at my arm where a 4" cruise has already started to appear. 'Great,' I think to myself.
"You only have one more shot," I say. She picks the normal spot in the wrist and digs in. It takes.

They promptly leave me alone when the other person comes in to take blood. Why not just do it from my IV? Good question, they pricked on the other arm.


I got there about 4:30, and the Dr comes at 5:30. He inserts my "cervical balloon catheter". "This shouldn't hurt."

YEAH RIGHT. My pride is already suffering thinking that my body won't let me have this child!
That little bugger starts pains immediately every few minutes.

The dr explains that we are going to use this device to make me dilate to a 5. We will be using pitosin throughout the night to help contractions along. In the early afternoon, IF my body continues to dilate past a 5 (he didn't think I would!!) then we will start pushing.

The first two hours were complete hell. I told the nurse about the pains. "Well, I'm sure it's just your uterus trying to adjust for the balloon being there. It's just a little upset."

A LITTLE UPSET? I was having contraction like pains every 2-3 minutes that lasted anywhere from 30-40 seconds. I felt outside my mind. After 2 hours I told Andrew (poor Andrew did remarkably well and stayed calm while I was freaking out) that I couldn't do this anymore. My parents arrived with food, and I was so uncomfortable and nauseous I couldn't eat anything. I told the nurse I would need to do an epidural. She said she would need to flush me with a bag & 1/2 of the water solution before, and we needed to get me started on pitosin (I thought I was already on pitocin! SO I was thoroughly freaked at what was happening!). So, she did. It was entirely strange because after the first bag had drained, I started to feel better. I could feel the contractions, but they didn't really hurt. I was back to my jolly self. That lasted for another few hours, until they upped me from "2" to "4" pitosin.

The pains came on remarkably fast. Now they were lasting upwards of 40 seconds, and pain was even in the few second breaks. The peaks were really high, and the "breaks" were about 1/2 of the peak. I didn't last many hours after that. At midnight I figured I could either get an epidural now, and sleep through the night to conserve energy for the afternoon of pushing, or I could get it in the morning and be exhausted for pushing. The pain was not slowing, and it wasn't "progressing" as normal labor does. This started all at once. I admitted "defeat".

So, at midnight a man came to do the epidural. After that, it was relief. At first I could still feel baby kicking around, and my contractions, but soon it all went numb. My legs felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. I couldn't move my lower half on my own. The nurse said to help the baby drop we are going to rotate me every hour to lay on my opposite side. This went fine until 3 am. I was only half awake when the two nurses came to help me rotate.

"Did her water break?" I heard the unknown nurse ask.
"No, I'm sure that's just bloody show," my nurse said.
I thought that strange that I didn't know my lower half was sitting in water and blood. I couldn't feel anything. But I just let them turn me and started to drift again. I was listening to baby girl's heart on the monitor.
"Dub-dub, dub-dub,dub-dub......dub......dub..... dub-dub-dub-dub-dub-dub......dub......dub".

There's no way that was what I heard. My eyes flashed open to look at the screen. I watched in horror as baby's heart was racing at normal capacity, then would slow to slower than mine. I was reaching for the nurses button would my nurse ran in.
"Her heart!" I stuttered.
"I know, I was monitoring you outside. I think the catheter may have broken your water, and now it's preventing it from being able to fulling escape. It's happened before to make a baby's heart rate do that. I'm going to check you."
She rolls me on my back. She goes to take water out of the balloons, but when she grabs the end, they just slide out.
"They just slide out themselves!" she said.
"What does that mean?" I ask.
"That means you are dilated more than a 5!" she smiles. "Let me see how dilated you are. I watch as her face falls. "You're a TEN!"
"WHAT!?" I say.
"You're measuring a ten!" she says in disbelief.
"What does that mean?" I ask, proping myself up on my elbows.
"It means you're about to have a baby!"
I am sitting there in disbelief at this news at a little after 3 am, when the nurse comes back to herself and says "ANDREW!" andrew becomes more alert and she says, "PUSH THE NURSE BUTTON!"
"Hi, what can I help you with?"
"I NEED SOME HELP IN HERE!" my nurse explains.
Immediately 5 nurses run in. One grabs an oxygen mask and attaches it over my nose and mouth. "This is for you and the baby," she tries to reassure me. I burst into tears. I'm still thinking about baby's heart beat and whether she is okay or not. "What's wrong?" my nurse asks. "Are you in pain?"
I shake my head no. "Is she going to be okay?" I cry.
The nurse grabs my hand, "She is just fine! Don't you worry about her! We just need to get you ready!" She turns away. "Somebody call the on-call.
"Andrew! Call my Mom!" I cry. I'm hoping my mom can make it in time.

My nurse tells me, "The on call is here. It's not your normal doctor, but she is great. I think you'll like her. Are you going to be okay that it's not your doctor delivering her?"
"Which doctor is it?"
"It's doctor Elliot. She is in the same office as he is."
I smiled HUGE as I saw her walk through the door. "That's perfect!" I am so excited I can't hide it. I look at Andrew, who is also beaming.

(**NOTE** This was the original doctor in the office I wanted to go to, but she didn't take our insurance, only the guy did.)

Looking back now I feel like Heavenly Father has a slightly twisted sense of humor :)

She wants to wait to see if baby will come down a little further before pushing so I don't exhaust myself. My mom comes. When I ask her where dad is, she exclaims, "I left him getting dressed! I wasn't going to let him slow me down!" *Smiles*
By this time, I can feel and move my left leg, but my right is still a thousand pounds. I can also feel my stomach, can flex it, and can feel the contractions with no pain. I was siked! I couldn't believe my good fortune! I was going to be able to feel her birth with no pain!

Soon the "coaching nurse" and my nurse come in. "We want to try and do a few practice pushes, just to see if baby is ready. If she doesn't come down farther, we will just stop and relax for a little while and try again."
"Okay," I nodd. They explain that what they want is to see baby's head go into position, by getting baby's head under the pelvic bone.
With mom on my right and Andrew on my left, they coach me through 3 pushes during a contraction. On the third push my nurse says, "You did it! Her head is in place! Get the doctor!" She looks at me, "Great job! Don't even think about pushing till the doctor comes in!"
The doctor comes in shield and all, ready to go. During the 2nd contraction (the 6th push), I hear my mom exclaim: "She has hair!"
"Is it RED?!?!" I shriek through the push.
"No, it's brown!" I breath a sigh of relief. Unlike my other siblings, I've never really cared to have a red headed child. Plus, I always pictured this little one with brown hair!
During the fourth contraction, and push number 12 (counting from the "practice pushes"), Baby girl made her entrance.
Still in position, I could see her once her whole body came. The doctor held her up for me to see, and I shrieked/cried and fell back. I could hardly see from all the tears. Andrew leans down and give me a kiss. I couldn't believe she was here!
The doctor weighed her in her hands.
"THIS is NOT a 10 lb baby! She is maybe 8 lbs!"
"I knew it!" I yell.

They grab a towel and wipe her down then set her on my chest. She immediately stopped crying and just looks at me. She is alert and perfect.
"Ten fingers and toes," the nurse says.
"I forgot to count them!" I laugh.

After a little while, they pick her up and move her across the room to do a little exam and clean her up. Meanwhile, everyone leaves me alone to wait as the dr stitches me up. (I started to tear a little in the front, so the dr did a small episiotomy in the back to prevent worse damage.)

Little Brooklyn Jayne was born November 16, 2011 at 5:01 am. 7 lbs 15 oz. 20.5 inches long.

Still... kickin' from the inside

So-- I feel like such a wreck. How do most women have postpartum symptoms and I have pre-partum symptoms?

I can't think of anything that would relieve me more than if this little girl were here already.

Today started like a normal Sunday. Not so normally, Andrew woke up slightly grumpy, but luckily for me he turned it around himself by Sunday School 2nd hour. I however, count myself "let off easy"... since he had to deal with my mood swings and random crying outbursts after church. He definitely wins the most "Compassionate, Loving, Wonderful, Can't-wait-for-him-to-Father-my-Children" Award. If I could buy a trophy and fit all that verbiage on there, I would make it for him for our 3rd year anniversary tomorrow!

I'm hoping these mood swings and crying fits are purely hormonal. I don't know if Andrew will say otherwise, but I think I've been really in control this whole time... and now today it burst out of me like a canon. It's like: I want to be alone, but as soon as I am left alone I beg for company. When I say I think sleep will help- I lay down, and then decide it is too darn uncomfortable to stay there. Lucky for me, Andrew has been EXTREMELY patient with me, and also stays completely rational during my crisis... and doesn't take it personally if I say I want to be alone. :) I owe him big time! The outbreak only lasted a couple of hours... but it still haunts me. I hate that feeling of being out of control.

I think it is just everything accumulating, that PLUS hormones, that got me twirled. The constant chatter from Dr's, and let's not forget the little voice that is constantly bugging me from inside my own mind of "When will she be here?" "How will labor go?" "How big is she really?" are killing me. I should have known better that by the end of the pregnancy I could not stand to wait for her to come on her own :) I'm way too impatient... and all the false labor isn't helping either. I've thought every day for the past 4 days was to be the day because I would start having stronger contractions spaced out for a few hours... and then they would abruptly stop. There is no better way to get a prego's hopes up, is there?

I just don't know how much longer I can wait... I'm so excited for the next leg of this journey... to have the reward from this 9 month pregnancy... and to see her little face and to know she is mine... and the look I can practically see on Andrew's face when his eyes fall onto her little self for the first time.

How did you cope with the last weeks.days of pregnancy?

-SANDERS, S.

Halloween....

As many of you know- I LOVE dressing up for Halloween! I can usually coax Andrew into any scheme- like our Smurfs from last year :) This year however, was a bit reversed. I had had a rocky Dr's visit the day before our ward party, and I was still an emotional nightmare. I debated all day whether I felt "good enough" to go.



Andrew, seeing my sadness, perked up in hyper gear and came up with a last minute idea for costumes that luckily, we had all the pieces for!


(Sorry, I did the same picture twice, but it won't let me erase it!)

And SURPRISE! Everyone knew EXACTLY what we were! DISNEY TOURISTS! And of course, most of the little girls are dressed as princesses, so we would run up or point them out & yell, "PRINCESS! can I have your autograph!" People were laughing, and it was fun. Andrew took random empty photos with my SLR all night. It was funny. He ahd the goofy look and everything! I give him props for that one.

Even the next day at church we had people saying, "Hey kids look- there's the tourists!". I was surprised that everyone liked our costumes that much. It was fun to be there.

Thanks Andrew, for turning that weekend around for me: I sure do love you :)

-SANDERS OUT

D-DAY

D- DAY

That's right- Delivery Day! I am so close I can taste it! I can practically feel her in my arms.. the little warm breath on my neck while she snuggles on my shoulder. That sweet smell that only is available to newborns...

And as I listen to the sound of hard rain on the window... I am at peace. Wednesday will mark my 37th week! Whew. I am still working (Thanks for helping out Mom- it has been a LOT less stressful with your help!) , still feeling good, and now am just IMpatiently waiting for this little girl to make her first debut.

How do people seriously wait this long to greet their little one?? I mean, I know you don't really have an option... but the SUSPENSE is killing me!

When will labor start? Where will I be? How long will it take?

Another problem I'm sure is that I'm expecting it any day... anytime. I know we won't make it to November 9, especially since my dr has told me so! He's told me whenever I want to be induced he will do it. However, I really want her to come on her own. And hopefully that is REALLY SOON! I guess especially since the last couple of weeks I finally feel "prepared"- or as prepared as I can be at this point- I am more anxious than ever. It's like me saying "I'm finally ready- c'mon baby! Anytime!"

I just.. can't wait. I think I will cry from happiness instead of pain whenever I do go into labor- knowing we are just hours away from looking at her face, inches from our own.

People tell me that you miss having them on the "inside". It's like now, I don't have to share... she is all mine. I know her and she knows me... and Dad's voice (that's right Andrew- "DAD"!) And, once she comes, she will have a lot more people in her life. They say I will miss the little bumps and protrusions from her moving around in my tummy. My little nudger did a first last night.

She is head down (THANKFULLY!), so she usually lays on her side in a c shape if you are looking at me from the front. Her little backbone sticks out on the sides and sometimes I can feel her spine all the way to her little rump up top! But last night, she decided to turn over in a different way than usual- I pulled my shirt tight against my stomach to see better. I watched as what could have only been feet walked across the top of my stomach, turning herself onto her other side. It was amazing! So so cool!

Enough of my rantings! I am going to go watch the rain through the window!

Yea for New Life!

-Sanders Out

Last Ultrasound pictures :)

First, here is a profil shot from 8-26. See that cute lil' button nose? This is from 9-23. See that little smirk on those little lips?

Same Day- Sleeping pose. Look at those chubby cheeks!

I thought y'all would enjoy these glimpses into the next baby Sanders :)

Finally Feeling Ready

So, as of yesterday, I am technically on vacation until October 12. It has been a definite privilege of sorts to be able to keep my feet elevated, and accept the times I am tired and just close my eyes for a few minutes on the couch. I don't think I realized how hard I was pushing myself. Of course, at work I can't exactly tell the 3 people vying for my attention, "Take a seat, I need to just breathe for a few moments in the other room". I guess it is the stubborn Ardis in me that makes me rush through those moments in order to keep going through the end of the day. Usually by the end of my 4, 10 hour days that I crash on Friday. On Saturdays for the last month I have been working a second job for a friend, but it was usually 8-6 straight. So I was glad when I talked to him last week, and he suggested I not come back. I don't think I could keep that up for the next three weeks anyway. It made Fridays a total recoup day from my "real job", and Sundays a total fiasco from my "second job". But don't worry, though I may have "quit" my second job, this little momma plans on working her real job right up to the end if I can manage it.

My shower was last Thursday. It was slightly overwhelming. I was glad I wasn't like Rachel (off the show 'friends'), where she has NO IDEA what any of the stuff is for. I knew what every single gift's purpose was. It was a tad reassuring. Over the last two days we have been sorting, returning, and purchasing the few things we still needed. As of this afternoon, I feel like we have collected everything we need to welcome this little girl home... whenever she decides to join us on the outside :)

The shower was good, but when I walked into my mom's house after work that night, I got an ASTOUNDING surprise that I had to do a double take for. My sister Christy, and her 6 month old Ben, were standing in the kitchen, huge smiles on both of their faces. Needless to say the waterworks fell for me. I couldn't believe that she had pulled off this surprise! She flew in all the way from Mesa to come. It was awesome. It was fun spending the weekend with her and getting to know Ben better too. Of course, seeing one sister always tugs for the other as well. I know April would have been there too if she could of. Having Christy here made me miss April even more! It's crazy, yet awesome, how family connects in different ways. But, we always yearn to all be together.

The shower itself was good (ditto), but I can't say I totally enjoyed having 25+ pairs of eyes staring at me while I open gifts. I wouldn't say I am a shy person, but being the center of attention for a party makes me uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure I didn't even eat any of the yummy desserts until the games were being held and I could be by myself.

So, as of this moment, I am feeling reassured that our home is as ready as it is gonna get for our little one to come.

I did go to the OB on Tuesday. They hooked me up to "THE MACHINE". The fetal stress test machine that is. It was slightly scary that it took the nurse about 5 minutes to find baby's heartbeat. However, it was soon apparent why. As soon as the nurse found the heartbeat, it disappeared a moment or two later. She would find it again, and then it would disappear again! Baby Girl was making her play chase! It was slightly funny to me that the nurse was "getting served" by my baby. haha. It was less funny, however, when the nurse said, "Here MOM! I am putting you responsible for keeping this pad near her heartbeat while doing the test." I watched her leave the room and thought this test would only last a few minutes. Nope. anywhere from 30-45 minutes later- my hand was shaking from trying to push this little plastic pad on my belly trying to follow wherever baby was going!

The doctor came in and took a look at the readings. He said baby movement looked great, right on track (Which is always reassuring). He then pointed out to me all these "hills and valleys" on the paper.
"Have you been feeling any contractions?" he asked.
Me: "NO. why?"
He points to the sheet of paper, "See all these hills? Those are contractions. You've been having them the whole time today at your visit... every few minutes"
Me: "Huh."
Him: "Are you sure you haven't felt any pain or discomfort?"
Me: "No, I would tell you if I had. Maybe I thought it was baby's movements when it was really a contraction."
Him: SPEECHLESS

He checked me and confirmed I'm not dilated. But it had been fun to see the "stupor" look on his face at every visit when I am doing well. Things did turn a little sour after that since some of my labs weren't looking as good as I was. However, he has just decided to see me twice a week from now on instead of once. Things are okay, so don't worry. :) He is just taking precautions to make sure this little girl arrives healthy and on time!

-SANDERS OUT