Rebel Writings & Ridings

A Labor of Love Story

2011-12-08T09:22:00.004-07:00

** WARNING- What you are about to read is a TRUE STORY- and may not be appropriate for younger audiences. Reader discretion is advised**

:D

As of yesterday my baby is 3 weeks old. Feels like she is so much older than that! (I'm sure some sleepless nights and crying has nothing to do with that:) It's also partially because we feel like we have known her forever. It's an awesome feeling.
So, here's our starter story:

The weeks leading up to delivery were probably the most stressful of my life. My dr, who I don't even want to call "my", had been pressuring me to do a c-section since week 36 because baby's head was measuring "large" and by the computer software's calculations she would be anywhere from 9-10 lbs. His reasoning was this: "I just don't know that your pelvis can handle a baby of this magnitude." He would even admit that the software could be wrong... blah blah blah. He would admit there was a 10% error margin. So she could be anywhere from 8-10 lbs. But, he would never admit that she could be only 8 lbs. His eyes were focused on 10+lbs.
I told him the next visit that c-section was out of the question. The only way I was doing it was if it was an emergency during delivery. If I had to be induced (which I also didn't want), because of her size I would want that first. He would put on an apathetic face and say "Look, if you want to attempt at a v. delivery, feel contractions, give it a go- we can do it your way. My fear is that your baby's head is just too large to "drop" into your pelvis, and after hours and hours of laboring you'll end up needing a c-section anyway. But, if you want to give it a go, we can do that."
Great guy right?
Well, the only "progress" I had made was on Monday the 7th (Our 3 year anniversary). I was effaced 25%, and I was excited about it. Unfortunately, he didn't take that as "real progress". "Even if we induce you, there is a possibility that you will labor for 24 hours and not dilate. Then we'll need to do a c-section. You have an "unwilling" cervix. But we can give it a go if you would like."
After hearing that I was going to try to be induced by acupuncture on Wed Nov 9 (her due date), he said he would like to see me that afternoon. I came in, still no change. "We need to talk about your options. This baby is only getting bigger! We can schedule a c-section for tomorrow or Friday, and you could be holding your little one before the weekend is here!"
"What about induction?" I asked.
"Well let me see here. *PAUSE*. The earliest we could schedule you to come in Tuesday night to be induced Wednesday morning? I will not allow you to go beyond 41 weeks. It's my policy."
(Me: [in my head] "Really? You want to give this already "large" baby another week's worth of growth before inducing me? Are you crazy? I've got your crazy.")

"Yes. Schedule me."
So, we prayed and prayed and hula-hooped, and took herbs, and did electro-acupunture, and acu-pressure, and jumped up and down, and walked stairs, and took walks, and all sorts of other ideas to get baby girl here before Tuesday. But alas, Tuesday afternoon arrived for my appt, and no baby or contractions arrived. My mom went with me to my appt since I coaxed Andrew into going to class with a promise of I would call if I had made progress. No progress.

My mom was coming to meet the doctor. She wanted to see if my stories of this man were true or not. Needless to say, she didn't even like him! That's how awful he is! My own mother, whom likes everyone, didn't like him. In her words, "He's creepy." YEAH!

So, we head to my apartment and I pull out the unused "Go bag" which I came to find was more of an "incomplete" bag. It gave me something to do as I waited for Andrew to come home from class. He walked in the door to see my mom sitting on the couch and came in to the bedroom. I had stayed strong until the moment. As he came to hug me I burst into tears. All of this was so wrong. Not only wrong, so unnatural for me. I wanted this little girl to come on her own, and now she didn't have the option.

We stopped at Burger King on the way. We made it to the hospital and they put us in a room (GIGANTIC ROOM). "Take off all your clothes and put the gown on," a nurse said.

"Can't I at least keep my t-shirt on?" I asked.
"Nope. Sorry."
That was when I started getting angry. This is not what I wanted. I wanted to wear my own clothes, be able to roam the halls, and feel like myself. I already felt like a prisoner.

Soon after a couple of nurses came in. One to ask me a million questions, and the other to insert an IV. I couldn't hold back tears. I hated this. Loathed this. The one doing the IV asked, "You ok?" When I returned a blank stare, she prompted "Just excited?"
"No," I whimpered.
"You're not excited? C'mon, you shouldn't be sad- You're about to have a baby!"
Andrew then nicely and calmly explained my hatred of IV's and medical stuff. The nurse then felt it important to explain to be the benefits of having an IV. I'm not stupid, and I knew all the information anyway.
"This isn't my first time getting an IV."
She picked a spot on my forarm and said it was a "Tender spot" so try not to move from the pain.
"I'm about to experience labor, and you think I'm scared of an IV?" I said. "That didn't even hurt," I said as she stuck it in.
She looked up at me with a scrunched fae and said "Opsss... You're gonna have a bruise.... I missed!" I look at my arm where a 4" cruise has already started to appear. 'Great,' I think to myself.
"You only have one more shot," I say. She picks the normal spot in the wrist and digs in. It takes.

They promptly leave me alone when the other person comes in to take blood. Why not just do it from my IV? Good question, they pricked on the other arm.

I got there about 4:30, and the Dr comes at 5:30. He inserts my "cervical balloon catheter". "This shouldn't hurt."

YEAH RIGHT. My pride is already suffering thinking that my body won't let me have this child!
That little bugger starts pains immediately every few minutes.

The dr explains that we are going to use this device to make me dilate to a 5. We will be using pitosin throughout the night to help contractions along. In the early afternoon, IF my body continues to dilate past a 5 (he didn't think I would!!) then we will start pushing.

The first two hours were complete hell. I told the nurse about the pains. "Well, I'm sure it's just your uterus trying to adjust for the balloon being there. It's just a little upset."

A LITTLE UPSET? I was having contraction like pains every 2-3 minutes that lasted anywhere from 30-40 seconds. I felt outside my mind. After 2 hours I told Andrew (poor Andrew did remarkably well and stayed calm while I was freaking out) that I couldn't do this anymore. My parents arrived with food, and I was so uncomfortable and nauseous I couldn't eat anything. I told the nurse I would need to do an epidural. She said she would need to flush me with a bag & 1/2 of the water solution before, and we needed to get me started on pitosin (I thought I was already on pitocin! SO I was thoroughly freaked at what was happening!). So, she did. It was entirely strange because after the first bag had drained, I started to feel better. I could feel the contractions, but they didn't really hurt. I was back to my jolly self. That lasted for another few hours, until they upped me from "2" to "4" pitosin.

The pains came on remarkably fast. Now they were lasting upwards of 40 seconds, and pain was even in the few second breaks. The peaks were really high, and the "breaks" were about 1/2 of the peak. I didn't last many hours after that. At midnight I figured I could either get an epidural now, and sleep through the night to conserve energy for the afternoon of pushing, or I could get it in the morning and be exhausted for pushing. The pain was not slowing, and it wasn't "progressing" as normal labor does. This started all at once. I admitted "defeat".

So, at midnight a man came to do the epidural. After that, it was relief. At first I could still feel baby kicking around, and my contractions, but soon it all went numb. My legs felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. I couldn't move my lower half on my own. The nurse said to help the baby drop we are going to rotate me every hour to lay on my opposite side. This went fine until 3 am. I was only half awake when the two nurses came to help me rotate.

"Did her water break?" I heard the unknown nurse ask.
"No, I'm sure that's just bloody show," my nurse said.
I thought that strange that I didn't know my lower half was sitting in water and blood. I couldn't feel anything. But I just let them turn me and started to drift again. I was listening to baby girl's heart on the monitor.
"Dub-dub, dub-dub,dub-dub......dub......dub..... dub-dub-dub-dub-dub-dub......dub......dub".

There's no way that was what I heard. My eyes flashed open to look at the screen. I watched in horror as baby's heart was racing at normal capacity, then would slow to slower than mine. I was reaching for the nurses button would my nurse ran in.
"Her heart!" I stuttered.
"I know, I was monitoring you outside. I think the catheter may have broken your water, and now it's preventing it from being able to fulling escape. It's happened before to make a baby's heart rate do that. I'm going to check you."
She rolls me on my back. She goes to take water out of the balloons, but when she grabs the end, they just slide out.
"They just slide out themselves!" she said.
"What does that mean?" I ask.
"That means you are dilated more than a 5!" she smiles. "Let me see how dilated you are. I watch as her face falls. "You're a TEN!"
"WHAT!?" I say.
"You're measuring a ten!" she says in disbelief.
"What does that mean?" I ask, proping myself up on my elbows.
"It means you're about to have a baby!"
I am sitting there in disbelief at this news at a little after 3 am, when the nurse comes back to herself and says "ANDREW!" andrew becomes more alert and she says, "PUSH THE NURSE BUTTON!"
"Hi, what can I help you with?"
"I NEED SOME HELP IN HERE!" my nurse explains.
Immediately 5 nurses run in. One grabs an oxygen mask and attaches it over my nose and mouth. "This is for you and the baby," she tries to reassure me. I burst into tears. I'm still thinking about baby's heart beat and whether she is okay or not. "What's wrong?" my nurse asks. "Are you in pain?"
I shake my head no. "Is she going to be okay?" I cry.
The nurse grabs my hand, "She is just fine! Don't you worry about her! We just need to get you ready!" She turns away. "Somebody call the on-call.
"Andrew! Call my Mom!" I cry. I'm hoping my mom can make it in time.

My nurse tells me, "The on call is here. It's not your normal doctor, but she is great. I think you'll like her. Are you going to be okay that it's not your doctor delivering her?"
"Which doctor is it?"
"It's doctor Elliot. She is in the same office as he is."
I smiled HUGE as I saw her walk through the door. "That's perfect!" I am so excited I can't hide it. I look at Andrew, who is also beaming.

(**NOTE** This was the original doctor in the office I wanted to go to, but she didn't take our insurance, only the guy did.)

Looking back now I feel like Heavenly Father has a slightly twisted sense of humor :)

She wants to wait to see if baby will come down a little further before pushing so I don't exhaust myself. My mom comes. When I ask her where dad is, she exclaims, "I left him getting dressed! I wasn't going to let him slow me down!" *Smiles*
By this time, I can feel and move my left leg, but my right is still a thousand pounds. I can also feel my stomach, can flex it, and can feel the contractions with no pain. I was siked! I couldn't believe my good fortune! I was going to be able to feel her birth with no pain!

Soon the "coaching nurse" and my nurse come in. "We want to try and do a few practice pushes, just to see if baby is ready. If she doesn't come down farther, we will just stop and relax for a little while and try again."
"Okay," I nodd. They explain that what they want is to see baby's head go into position, by getting baby's head under the pelvic bone.
With mom on my right and Andrew on my left, they coach me through 3 pushes during a contraction. On the third push my nurse says, "You did it! Her head is in place! Get the doctor!" She looks at me, "Great job! Don't even think about pushing till the doctor comes in!"
The doctor comes in shield and all, ready to go. During the 2nd contraction (the 6th push), I hear my mom exclaim: "She has hair!"
"Is it RED?!?!" I shriek through the push.
"No, it's brown!" I breath a sigh of relief. Unlike my other siblings, I've never really cared to have a red headed child. Plus, I always pictured this little one with brown hair!
During the fourth contraction, and push number 12 (counting from the "practice pushes"), Baby girl made her entrance.
Still in position, I could see her once her whole body came. The doctor held her up for me to see, and I shrieked/cried and fell back. I could hardly see from all the tears. Andrew leans down and give me a kiss. I couldn't believe she was here!
The doctor weighed her in her hands.
"THIS is NOT a 10 lb baby! She is maybe 8 lbs!"
"I knew it!" I yell.

They grab a towel and wipe her down then set her on my chest. She immediately stopped crying and just looks at me. She is alert and perfect.
"Ten fingers and toes," the nurse says.
"I forgot to count them!" I laugh.

After a little while, they pick her up and move her across the room to do a little exam and clean her up. Meanwhile, everyone leaves me alone to wait as the dr stitches me up. (I started to tear a little in the front, so the dr did a small episiotomy in the back to prevent worse damage.)

Little Brooklyn Jayne was born November 16, 2011 at 5:01 am. 7 lbs 15 oz. 20.5 inches long.

Still... kickin' from the inside

2011-11-06T20:10:00.003-07:00

So-- I feel like such a wreck. How do most women have postpartum symptoms and I have pre-partum symptoms?

I can't think of anything that would relieve me more than if this little girl were here already.

Today started like a normal Sunday. Not so normally, Andrew woke up slightly grumpy, but luckily for me he turned it around himself by Sunday School 2nd hour. I however, count myself "let off easy"... since he had to deal with my mood swings and random crying outbursts after church. He definitely wins the most "Compassionate, Loving, Wonderful, Can't-wait-for-him-to-Father-my-Children" Award. If I could buy a trophy and fit all that verbiage on there, I would make it for him for our 3rd year anniversary tomorrow!

I'm hoping these mood swings and crying fits are purely hormonal. I don't know if Andrew will say otherwise, but I think I've been really in control this whole time... and now today it burst out of me like a canon. It's like: I want to be alone, but as soon as I am left alone I beg for company. When I say I think sleep will help- I lay down, and then decide it is too darn uncomfortable to stay there. Lucky for me, Andrew has been EXTREMELY patient with me, and also stays completely rational during my crisis... and doesn't take it personally if I say I want to be alone. :) I owe him big time! The outbreak only lasted a couple of hours... but it still haunts me. I hate that feeling of being out of control.

I think it is just everything accumulating, that PLUS hormones, that got me twirled. The constant chatter from Dr's, and let's not forget the little voice that is constantly bugging me from inside my own mind of "When will she be here?" "How will labor go?" "How big is she really?" are killing me. I should have known better that by the end of the pregnancy I could not stand to wait for her to come on her own :) I'm way too impatient... and all the false labor isn't helping either. I've thought every day for the past 4 days was to be the day because I would start having stronger contractions spaced out for a few hours... and then they would abruptly stop. There is no better way to get a prego's hopes up, is there?

I just don't know how much longer I can wait... I'm so excited for the next leg of this journey... to have the reward from this 9 month pregnancy... and to see her little face and to know she is mine... and the look I can practically see on Andrew's face when his eyes fall onto her little self for the first time.

How did you cope with the last weeks.days of pregnancy?

-SANDERS, S.

Halloween....

2011-11-02T17:43:00.003-07:00

As many of you know- I LOVE dressing up for Halloween! I can usually coax Andrew into any scheme- like our Smurfs from last year :) This year however, was a bit reversed. I had had a rocky Dr's visit the day before our ward party, and I was still an emotional nightmare. I debated all day whether I felt "good enough" to go.

Andrew, seeing my sadness, perked up in hyper gear and came up with a last minute idea for costumes that luckily, we had all the pieces for!

(Sorry, I did the same picture twice, but it won't let me erase it!)

And SURPRISE! Everyone knew EXACTLY what we were! DISNEY TOURISTS! And of course, most of the little girls are dressed as princesses, so we would run up or point them out & yell, "PRINCESS! can I have your autograph!" People were laughing, and it was fun. Andrew took random empty photos with my SLR all night. It was funny. He ahd the goofy look and everything! I give him props for that one.

Even the next day at church we had people saying, "Hey kids look- there's the tourists!". I was surprised that everyone liked our costumes that much. It was fun to be there.

Thanks Andrew, for turning that weekend around for me: I sure do love you :)

-SANDERS OUT

D-DAY

2011-10-17T19:04:00.002-07:00

D- DAY

That's right- Delivery Day! I am so close I can taste it! I can practically feel her in my arms.. the little warm breath on my neck while she snuggles on my shoulder. That sweet smell that only is available to newborns...

And as I listen to the sound of hard rain on the window... I am at peace. Wednesday will mark my 37th week! Whew. I am still working (Thanks for helping out Mom- it has been a LOT less stressful with your help!) , still feeling good, and now am just IMpatiently waiting for this little girl to make her first debut.

How do people seriously wait this long to greet their little one?? I mean, I know you don't really have an option... but the SUSPENSE is killing me!

When will labor start? Where will I be? How long will it take?

Another problem I'm sure is that I'm expecting it any day... anytime. I know we won't make it to November 9, especially since my dr has told me so! He's told me whenever I want to be induced he will do it. However, I really want her to come on her own. And hopefully that is REALLY SOON! I guess especially since the last couple of weeks I finally feel "prepared"- or as prepared as I can be at this point- I am more anxious than ever. It's like me saying "I'm finally ready- c'mon baby! Anytime!"

I just.. can't wait. I think I will cry from happiness instead of pain whenever I do go into labor- knowing we are just hours away from looking at her face, inches from our own.

People tell me that you miss having them on the "inside". It's like now, I don't have to share... she is all mine. I know her and she knows me... and Dad's voice (that's right Andrew- "DAD"!) And, once she comes, she will have a lot more people in her life. They say I will miss the little bumps and protrusions from her moving around in my tummy. My little nudger did a first last night.

She is head down (THANKFULLY!), so she usually lays on her side in a c shape if you are looking at me from the front. Her little backbone sticks out on the sides and sometimes I can feel her spine all the way to her little rump up top! But last night, she decided to turn over in a different way than usual- I pulled my shirt tight against my stomach to see better. I watched as what could have only been feet walked across the top of my stomach, turning herself onto her other side. It was amazing! So so cool!

Enough of my rantings! I am going to go watch the rain through the window!

Yea for New Life!

-Sanders Out

Last Ultrasound pictures :)

2011-10-07T18:55:00.004-07:00

First, here is a profil shot from 8-26. See that cute lil' button nose? This is from 9-23. See that little smirk on those little lips?

Same Day- Sleeping pose. Look at those chubby cheeks!

I thought y'all would enjoy these glimpses into the next baby Sanders :)

Finally Feeling Ready

2011-10-06T17:50:00.002-07:00

So, as of yesterday, I am technically on vacation until October 12. It has been a definite privilege of sorts to be able to keep my feet elevated, and accept the times I am tired and just close my eyes for a few minutes on the couch. I don't think I realized how hard I was pushing myself. Of course, at work I can't exactly tell the 3 people vying for my attention, "Take a seat, I need to just breathe for a few moments in the other room". I guess it is the stubborn Ardis in me that makes me rush through those moments in order to keep going through the end of the day. Usually by the end of my 4, 10 hour days that I crash on Friday. On Saturdays for the last month I have been working a second job for a friend, but it was usually 8-6 straight. So I was glad when I talked to him last week, and he suggested I not come back. I don't think I could keep that up for the next three weeks anyway. It made Fridays a total recoup day from my "real job", and Sundays a total fiasco from my "second job". But don't worry, though I may have "quit" my second job, this little momma plans on working her real job right up to the end if I can manage it.

My shower was last Thursday. It was slightly overwhelming. I was glad I wasn't like Rachel (off the show 'friends'), where she has NO IDEA what any of the stuff is for. I knew what every single gift's purpose was. It was a tad reassuring. Over the last two days we have been sorting, returning, and purchasing the few things we still needed. As of this afternoon, I feel like we have collected everything we need to welcome this little girl home... whenever she decides to join us on the outside :)

The shower was good, but when I walked into my mom's house after work that night, I got an ASTOUNDING surprise that I had to do a double take for. My sister Christy, and her 6 month old Ben, were standing in the kitchen, huge smiles on both of their faces. Needless to say the waterworks fell for me. I couldn't believe that she had pulled off this surprise! She flew in all the way from Mesa to come. It was awesome. It was fun spending the weekend with her and getting to know Ben better too. Of course, seeing one sister always tugs for the other as well. I know April would have been there too if she could of. Having Christy here made me miss April even more! It's crazy, yet awesome, how family connects in different ways. But, we always yearn to all be together.

The shower itself was good (ditto), but I can't say I totally enjoyed having 25+ pairs of eyes staring at me while I open gifts. I wouldn't say I am a shy person, but being the center of attention for a party makes me uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure I didn't even eat any of the yummy desserts until the games were being held and I could be by myself.

So, as of this moment, I am feeling reassured that our home is as ready as it is gonna get for our little one to come.

I did go to the OB on Tuesday. They hooked me up to "THE MACHINE". The fetal stress test machine that is. It was slightly scary that it took the nurse about 5 minutes to find baby's heartbeat. However, it was soon apparent why. As soon as the nurse found the heartbeat, it disappeared a moment or two later. She would find it again, and then it would disappear again! Baby Girl was making her play chase! It was slightly funny to me that the nurse was "getting served" by my baby. haha. It was less funny, however, when the nurse said, "Here MOM! I am putting you responsible for keeping this pad near her heartbeat while doing the test." I watched her leave the room and thought this test would only last a few minutes. Nope. anywhere from 30-45 minutes later- my hand was shaking from trying to push this little plastic pad on my belly trying to follow wherever baby was going!

The doctor came in and took a look at the readings. He said baby movement looked great, right on track (Which is always reassuring). He then pointed out to me all these "hills and valleys" on the paper.
"Have you been feeling any contractions?" he asked.
Me: "NO. why?"
He points to the sheet of paper, "See all these hills? Those are contractions. You've been having them the whole time today at your visit... every few minutes"
Me: "Huh."
Him: "Are you sure you haven't felt any pain or discomfort?"
Me: "No, I would tell you if I had. Maybe I thought it was baby's movements when it was really a contraction."
Him: SPEECHLESS

He checked me and confirmed I'm not dilated. But it had been fun to see the "stupor" look on his face at every visit when I am doing well. Things did turn a little sour after that since some of my labs weren't looking as good as I was. However, he has just decided to see me twice a week from now on instead of once. Things are okay, so don't worry. :) He is just taking precautions to make sure this little girl arrives healthy and on time!

-SANDERS OUT

Doctors, Dummies, and Drama

2011-09-26T18:29:00.003-07:00

Soon I will not be lazy enough to scan in some newer ultrasounds of our baby girl.

Update: Last Friday Dr Appt

Sonogram: Lady continued to tell us that baby has a big head. A big "SHOUT OUT THANKS" to her. Then she told us she weighs about 6 lbs. Which, I am not too concerned about since they are pretty much always wrong. However, she told us she was doing a 3D ultrasound, and we did catch some shots of a lot of hair on her head. Which was awesome! And we also did catch a smile on her perfect little lips. Then we had an argument with her (my parents were there too) about who she looked more like. She thought baby looked like Andrew, and we all concurred that she looked just like my baby pictures. Obviously this sonogram lady is off her rocker. I'm beginning to think she doesn't like me and just wants to make me cry by saying that my baby's head is big, she is already 6 lbs at only "33 weeks", and that she looks like a boy. And also after we told her we did not want to pay $20 for prints, she did it anyway and ended up charging us. Awesome... and I'm the one who didn't even want to do 3D.

But whatever.

However, it does tend to prove my theory that our due date is wrong. I am thinking November 1st. The sonogram lady said the computer's calculations said it would be possible for her to be born technically "full term" October 25. However, it is more than likely that she will be born closer to her due date. Of course, why would I believe her? See my above paragraph. lol.

And then I think it's remarkably ironic that people think that due dates is when your child will really be born. Sure, it gives you a date to look forward to. However, it is just a guess people. No one knows but your baby and the Lord. Like I have told a couple of people that I think she will be here the 1st of November, and 9/10 people would say,

"Well, you know, most first babies are born late."
"Well, you know, most first babies are born only a few days early."
"Well, you know, don't get your hopes up. Mine was late by _____."

And since I am working I can never tell them what I really think of them in that moment :)

Here is what I am usually thinking:

"First off, you don't really know me, or my pregnancy.
Secondly, I am glad you are an expert on the subject.
Thirdly, I have no idea when we actually got pregnant- so you tell me if my due date is accurate or not.
Fourthly, Consider when we went in for the first time they estimated that I was 14 weeks. Everyone knows the farther in pregnancy you get, the harder it is to be accurate.
Fourthly, I wasn't asking you."

So it looked like my problems have nothing to do with people randomly coming up and touching my belly.

However, it is harder to shut an insistent dumb person up, then it is to slap a hand away.

Wow. I totally didn't mean for this to be a slightly rant post. Sorry peeps. I am really excited. This Thursday is the baby shower. I am nervous but excited. This is happening... really happening. I say I "can't wait" for her to be here. But I can, because I want her to be healthy and happy. I just want to hug her and love on her... I don't think I was prepared for this little girl that will soon change our family and lives. However, I am gonna try to be the best mom I can... and I know I will never be happier :)

Staci

Lampshade Project

2011-09-04T17:19:00.002-07:00

This is the shade I started with: Plain, old, & ugly.
Step 1: Clean up shade.
Step 2: Cut out fabric to match shape of shade.
Step 3: Use spray adhesive to attach the material to the shade.
Step 4: Let Dry. Trim excess fabric.
Step 5: Use a hot glue gun to attache ribbon as trim.
Step 6: Once mistakes are identified: Use cute ribbon to cover them up :D

Below is the final product:

-Sanders Out

Note to Self

2011-09-01T18:05:00.002-07:00

There are some symptoms I have dealt with currently, and also in the early days of pregnancy.

Things I do not want to forget for all natural help in pregnancy:

Heartburn (check)- Cardio plus (aka. vitamin B & cocuten)
Nausea/Queasiness (check)- Cataplex B (aka vitamin B)
Swelling feet/legs (check)- AC Carbamide (diarectic that helps the kidneys)
Headache (check)- Cardio plus
Zero Energy (check)- Adrenal Dessicated (helps adrenals with fatigue)
Restless/Sleepless (check)- Cataplex G (all 12 B vitamins to calm the body)
Congestion (DOUBLE check)- Antronex (to reduce stress on the liver caused by pregnancy)

CRAVINGS (TRIPLE check)-head to the nearest seller ASAP... and don't ask questions. :)

haha. Yes, my pregnancy is going REALLY well. SO WELL, that I sometimes forget I'm pregnant :D It is a strange feeling... especially when baby girl decides to bring me back to reality by playing the bongos and practicing karate in my tummy.

Compared to what other women have told me about their pregnancies, this baby girl seems to be very laid back... :) Which is fine with me. It just makes me nervous when I don't feel her for a long time. But whenever I start to worry, it seems like she knows... because I usually get a little reassuring jab from her telling me she is A.O.K.

We are working on the nursery! I was going to go all out, painting the walls, making murals, crafts for the walls. However, now that I am 30 weeks... I have pretty much given up on time consuming, intricate projects. However, I did make a vinyl creation on the wall with her name and cute damaske designs. I am also recovering a lamp shade... which should be my next post :) I am surprised by how well it turned out. I have a few more final touches for the lamp shade. I am still holding out on setting up the bedding.... Firstly, I don't want it to get dusty. Secondly, I think I will wait for a day when my hormones are already raging so that if I start to cry as I put it together, no one will be the wiser :)

Anywhos... Happy Thursday :)

I have a 4 day weekend... and I am going to enjoy EVERY MINUTE. Especially the sleeping in. Even though I can't sleep past 9 these days. There is just something wonderful about waking up without an alarm clock and knowing you have NO WHERE to be, that is just..... wonderful.

Tomorrow we are going to register for the baby shower. It will be interesting and I'm hoping I will not feel TOTALLY overwhelmed as we browse the aisles. For all you baby name crashers out there- ENJOY THE WAIT. hehe. We will reveal the name when we are ready!

WE LOVE YOU NEW YORK!

-Sanders Out

Pregnancy

2011-08-10T19:17:00.002-07:00

Things That I Find Random with Pregnancy

If something makes me upset/sad I either get angry or weepy. There is NO imbetween.... and I used to be able to hide it better.
Seems like pregnancy symptoms (i.e. ligament stretch pain, nausea, swollen feet) can go on for days and then randomly disappear! Or come for "flash moments" and then POOF! They vanish.
I notice that I am starting to waddle a tiny bit. I am assuming that will only get worse the larger my bump becomes.
I dislike that when I get a chiropractic adjustment. It only lasts about 24 hours... if that.
I am, as of today, 27 weeks, and a lot of people still don't seem to notice I'm pregnant. C'mon people. However, my tummy skin isn't even tight yet, so I'm assuming Baby Girl has a bit more room to grow before my skin gets "tight & itchy".
The other day I spotted this weird line protruding, and stretching from the middle of my bump, straight up to my ribs. When I pushed, it was pretty solid. So, I had Bryan feel it. We're pretty sure that was a leg or an arm... maybe a backbone.
No one could prepare me for the weird dreams.
I've never felt so much creativity block. I must be putting a lot of pressure on myself since every project I come up with for the nursery turns into a disaster!
THANKFULLY! No one has randomly come up and started rubbing my stomach like Buddha. Maybe I've perfected the "don't touch" vibe... or maybe they don't know I'm pregnant.
I can't believe that in a few more months she will be here. I'm so siked. It seems so far away.

As of Monday, I can't stop thinking about everything baby. Nursery. Baby Shower. Baby. Clothes. Baby. Pink. Baby. Brown. Baby. Flowers. Baby. Projects.

If my upcoming projects work out... which consists of updating a lamp shade, making a nursing cover, and decorating the walls... I will be happy to post pictures :)

Sanders Out

Hm. Where did July go?

2011-08-05T19:00:00.002-07:00

Well, as of Wednesday I was 26 weeks :)

According to the app on my phone, Baby Girl Sanders is approximately the size of an eggplant (about 10 inches) and about 2 lbs. This coming Sunday will make 3 weeks since I've felt her moving around on a regular basis. I do feel kicking, but almost as equally I feel what I can only imagine her doing as a "ROLL", or maybe her shuddering like a cold chill. The only 'regular' time I feel her moving is usually at 5:30 am. Her kicks aren't strong enough to wake me up, but I think she enjoys karate chopping my bladder. Usually once I get back from the bathroom and lay back down, I feel her kicking. The last few nights she seems to have woken me up from bad dreams. The little sweetheart.

Now that we know she's a SHE, the next pressing question people have for us is "Pick out a name yet?" I am very reserved in sharing it. Not because I think someone will use it before me. I mean, come on, I'm due in just a few months- but really just in case we change our minds. I think we have found it, and when we are alone at home we call her this name. But I'm not ready to share yet :) It'll be our little secret for a little while longer.

At this point, my tummy is a more round shape, and definitely fuller. I finally "look" pregnant, and am starting to feel pregnant. Every once in a while when I don't feel her move often, I feel like my normal, alone self. I have only gained 2 lbs, and most of my weight is redistributed to my baby tummy.

One of my fellow Young Women leaders said, "For some reason pregnant women attract stupid people." I am beginning to understand that warning. Some people think I look small for how far along I am, some people say I look BIG. Those are the ones I want to slap with my new found pregnancy strength. haha. Just kidding. But it is interesting how everyone wants to put their two cents in. Some people are jsut beginning to notice the bump, and give me a funny look, and I nodd. They get so excited! And then they are baffled when I tell them I am about 6 months along. haha. It's kinda fun sometimes.

My mom said she would help me throw a shower. I am extremely grateful and excited. I think we picked a date at the end of September, but as of this moment I can't remember which day. hahaha. But, I am enjoying this little lady, and I can't wait to meet her. She seems to be a sweet addition already, but I am looking forward to getting to know her from my inside and out.

It's cool how I already feel spiritually connected to her. Like she understands me, and I can understand some of her feelings. I'm glad to have a little sweetie. She will definitely make our holiday season this year interesting!

Thanks for reading!

-SANDERS OUT

Time Keeps on Slippin...

2011-06-17T20:08:00.003-07:00

So wow. Really Stac? Last time I posted was February? YIKES.

Well, as most of you already know, Andrew & I's life has officially changed... FOREVER.

Meet our Baby Sanders. Are we going to find out if it's a boy or a girl? We have an appointment set for June 28 to find out!! And it can't come soon enough.

Like most prego women... it's all I can think about. In the beginning I was 95% sure the baby was a boy. And now just a few weeks ago I started thinking it might be a girl. What the heck? haha. But, I don't have ESP, so I guess it is all good that I have no idea if my baby is a boy or a girl.

During the few moments a day that I am not dwelling on whether I should be picking out blues or yellows, I am yearning to hold this little tyke. In the middle of the night I wake up with my arms protectively around my stomach.

I felt him or her move for the first time a few weeks ago (Well, I actually KNEW it was movement and didn't second guess it was a cramp.), and it was amazing! Andrew was laying with his head on my stomach as I was sitting on the couch, and a felt a tap tap tap on the INSIDE! Not believing what I was feeling, I said nothing, waiting to feel it again. Needless to say about 15 seconds later I felt another tap tap tap. Which was immediately followed by me shoving Andrew off me and telling him he was squishing the baby. Haha.

So now I love waiting for the little moments when I feel the pressure of a footsticking out as the little guy or gal stretches out. Or getting those tap tap taps. I am excited for the day when Andrew can feel them too.

**********************************************************************************

Meanwhile, as I hear the dogs in the apartment above us romping around chasing a ball, causing thunder sounds, and shaking our light fixtures- it reminds me: WE ARE OUT OF HERE!

That's right. The cheap price of this apartment is no longer worth the stress of our super rude and irresponsible neighbors to the north and south of us. Plus I told Andrew (before I was even prego with a baby) that I don't care if we have to move into a cheaper smaller apartment in a different complex- I will not have a baby living in these conditions. With the stress level and response it brings out of me, it is not healthy for ANYONE to be around me when the dogs start running upstairs and the bass starts rumbling my floor and ceiling. Plus the hostility of our downstairs neighbors has pretty much decided for me that I will be out of this apartment and never tell them I am having a baby. They don't deserve the chance to try to ruin the happiest thing in our lives.

So, we are excited to tell you that we are moving miles away from this complex. We, well, mostly I, wanted to stay in our ward boundaries, so we moved to the other side of the ward boundaries. So I am thrilled. We will be on the top floor. We literally looked at 12 different apartments in about a week and a half before walking into this plain Jane looking complex. Nothing could prepare me for when we walked through the door to the model apartment.

Quite literally I was overcome with joy, and an incredible sense of calming. A weird combination to have at the same time. But oh so refreshing. The only bad thing is that we had to extend our current lease for one more week so that the current resident could move out on time. However, I know it will be worth the wait. ESPECIALLY since we will be on the top floor. YEA! No more stomping feet, things being dropped, and DOGS wrestling at 3 am shaking our ceiling... I am crying just thinking about how nice it will be. Oh! And when it rains- we'll be able to hear it on the rooftop!

************************************************************************************

So needless to say, our life in multiple areas is changing. But man! I can't wait.

Sanders Out

What's with the Weather?

2011-02-04T09:23:00.004-07:00

Ok, Crazy week!

Ice storm Monday night that kept us awake. Literally, at 3 in the morning it sounds like someone is right outside the window throwing rocks at it. Couldn't sleep till passed out at 5. No joke, SHEETS of ice on all roads and parking lots Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Mutuals canceled, work canceled, so I've been working from home since Tuesday! Now I know what you're thinking- Staci, you are pretty much a receptionist, what could you possibly be doing from home? Well let me tell ya, being me is no easy picnic!

I've had to call EVERYONE who's had appts, try and reschedule them, and deal with returning phone calls. Last night we got into the office from 3-6 and it was CRAMMMM PACKED full of people. They just started showing up saying that they were "DRIVING BY" and wanted to see if they could be "Squeezed in". Now if I was working for anyone else, I would be happy to say "No, sorry. And by the way... You HAPPENED to be driving in Zero degree whether braving the icy tundra to just drive around?? I don't think so. State your business and own up that you knew you were going to try to bully me into getting an appt." HOWEVER, because I work for my brother who can't turn anyone away (because he's so nice), I knew I had to play nice, lol. It really doesn't bother me that people show up randomly, it bothers me that they don't tell me the truth or call me to let me know there's something wrong, and then expect to get in right away! Anyway, I was polite and charming as always.

LAST NIGHT! (Being Thursday), I figured by the weather reports that it was going snow. Just didn't know when. Well, we were crawling into bed last night, exhausted, at 11:45. As soon as I started to get comfy, and Andrew starts reading scriptures, a FIRE ALARM starts going off! I sit straight up and look up at the alarm in our room. "What the heck is that?" (Me thinking that our stupid alarm just needs batteries, though it was REDICULOUSLY more loud than usual!) Andrew LEAPS out of bed, and runs and opens the door to the living room and runs back in. "You need to get dressed!" he says. "WHAT?!" I yell over the alarm, "GET DRESSED NOW! WE GOTTA GO!" So I am throwing on clothes. THANKFUL that we made it to walmart a few hours earlier and bought me some thermal clothes! I am throwing everything on, throwing on socks that are dirty and slipping into shoes. My first instinct, Fry and Behr. Andrew is still getting clothes on. I RUN to the Fry's (The second bathroom) Bathroom, throw open the top drawer and grab his harness. I RUN to Fry (Who is freaked out by the alarm and hiding.) Grab him, literally whip that harness on in about 5 seconds (He is pretty much letting me do this). I grab Andrew's keys and he is yelling something about my keys & I don't know where they are so I yell come on! I'll get new ones! Meanwhile, I am unlocking the door and poke my head out to see if there are any flames... there is literally NO ONE in the hall. I turn and yell for Andrew to grab Behr's cage. I drop his keys, he bends down to get them. I run to the stairwell, half way down to look below to see if there was any smoke. NOTHING. Andrew locks the door and FLIES past me downstairs. In a split second I hear voices upstairs. "HELLO!!! I yell "WHAT'S GOING ON!!!???" The guy calmly walks to the balcony overlooking the stairwells and says, " I don't know? Anything on your floor?"

Andrew says its all clear downstairs and sees our neighbors. Meanwhile, I RUN back inside. Put together Fry's kennel and literally SHOVE HIM inside! I leave Behr and him by the door and run downstairs. "WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!"

Apparently, the neighbors below us had a waterline BREAK. They had water flowing through their second bedroom closet and when they opened the front door is was coming out. WOAH! And apparently it blew through the outside wall, and started draining out their patio as well! And apparently one of their fire sprinkler heads popped off from the pressure and that is what set off the alarm!

Needless to say,

SCARIEST 10 minutes of my life. Felt like an eternity. We stay downstairs with them for a little while. BTW, it did not comfort me at all when the guy upstairs with two big dogs comes down holding his beer, obviously already drunk, and starts telling us stories about which liquor each of his dogs prefers. The two daughters that live in that second bedroom directly below us are clutching their Budlight cans and smoking at the same time. Saying things like "Yeah, it was so weird.... Just heard this sliding sound then looked out the patio and it was water coming out everywhere." And another neighbor upstairs who said, "Oh, we were just playing Xbox and was like 'What's that sound?'" And NO joke, 2/3 of the building did not even leave their apartment!

Really? These are the people I am surrounded by.

Andrew was the one who called 911 about the alarm going off. Andrew was the one flagging down the firetruck. And all these people who are still under assumption of a fire are hanging out in the bottom corridor. Really? You don't even want to step aside to the FIELD across the freaking street? Where were you people in 3rd grade for fire drills? Oh wait, that's right, there was no alcohol for us in the 3rd grade!

Needless to stay it scared us silly. We got back inside the apartment at 12:30. I start playing Donkey Kong to try and get my mind of things... and allow my adrenaline to burn off. Meanwhile we brainstorm about all the "preparedness" stuff we need to do to get ready for something like this. 72 hour kits, copies of important docs, escape plans, etc.

Andrew looked around when we first got back inside, seeing Fry in the kennel and Behr next to him. "WHEN did you have TIME to put the kennel together?" I smirked and said, "When you're adrenaline is running as fast as mine, everything suddenly becomes crystal clear on where things are."

Man, that really taught us a lesson.

In the words of Scar & the hyenas: "BE PREPARED!!!"

And by the way, looked outside at 12:50. And EVERYTHING was covered in snow. Yeah, in 20 minutes cars, grass, street, EVERYTHING covered!

Bluck

2011-01-11T15:39:00.002-07:00

Yep,

It snowed Sunday. Walk into church: raining. Get out of Sacrament precisely one hour later: Snowing. It's not that I don't like the sub freezing temperatures or the higher electric bill OR fear of getting in car accidents... I just don't think snow is worth the ice. :(

It's pretty though. Thought it was crazy when I got word that it was snowing in Mesa.

Just read a blog post from a good friend that spoke of her journey to get pregnant. Brought me close to tears. (Yeah! She finally did after a year or so, apparently.) But it made me a little sad. Always want what you can't have, right?

BIG NEWS

Andrew is going back to school FULL TIME. He officially turned in his 2 week notice last week to Chase. I am excited for him to be able to blow through school, however a small part of me just wants the whole thing to be over with. You know, the classes, the homework, the studying for exams. I thought that was over for me years ago. But I won't mind helping out. I miss being busy like that. The more part is that I just want our "real life" to start. You know, the house, pickett fence, big dog in the yard playing with the kids, the black SUV sitting in the garage (b/c I refuse to drive a mini-van). But then I get hit in the face and realize: This is real life.

The struggle. The hopes. The dreams. The failures. The emotions. The hard work. The sacrifices. The longing. The future. All these things depend on what we do now... And I know how rough it might become for us. But I also know what a blessing it will be.

I am also coming full circle to really understand how much of a woman I really am. (always the "tom-boy") How I can't let anyone else help me... and whatever goes wrong is my fault. And that I don't deserve the best. That I am responsible for every short coming I have. I know these are all just limitations I place on myself... blame on myself. But I'm trying to work around them. Trying to overcome them. I've been EXTREMELY emotional lately and it makes me angry. My eyes tear up to the brim and I refuse to let them fall. Mostly I'm angry because I don't like to cry. And sme times it doesn't make sense to cry!

Sorry this was a bummer post. I am just writing to see what revelations come out.

-STACI

2010-10-07T07:46:00.003-07:00

With all the emotion testing and new outbreaks, and everything relating health... I've been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. I've been more accutely aware of how I'm feeling. Feels like the emotional testing actually takes the blame away from you and places it on someone else. Like the other day, I was so angry I was literally shaking and would not smile at anyone who came my way. So I grabbed Stephanie and asked her to test me. Sure enough, there were some emotions sitting right on top. When she released the third one, I literally felt like I had a shot of morphine come over me. Stephanie said she could feel it too.

I have definitely been aware more of people's actions, right or wrong, and the lack of consequences lately. Maybe it was because of the most recent general conference was about being true to yourself and consequences of choices. I dunno. But it seems like I am more aware of people's lack of responisbility, and who they dump it on. As you can probably tell by the forshadowing, it seems like I am always the one who gets the job done.. for everyone.

I also laughed at the one talk in GC where the statment about how people who have less busy schedules than others think they are less important. PSH. That is so crazy. I would ADORE a schedule where I wasn't so busy. I'm lucky I have a smartphone now so that I can keep up with Andrew and myself. Between work, school, and church, and "favors" for other people, we are flying by the seat of our pants. It's just rediculous.

I don't mind doing service. AT ALL. I love helping people who are in a real need. However, I also like it when people know when a future event is happening, and they will need help at that time. That's great. What's NOT great, is when they ask me to do something seemingly simple, and I agree, and then it turns into this huge ordeal because of hidden tasks that they did not mention upfront. I'll give you a hypothetical situation. Jane Doe asks me to let her dogs out for her at a future date for when she goes into labor. GREAT! I love dogs, and would love to help! Sounds simple enough, right? Go over there a couple times a day and let them out. But oh wait, a few weeks later as the due date draws near here comes a list of things to do. They need to be let out at certain times a day, need to be fed certain times a day, one has certain vitamins with her meal, one can't be left unattended... oh yeah, and one of the scheduled times is while you are at work.... How can you possibly achieve that one? Oh yeah, and when you come for the first time first thing in the morning to let them out, apparently one of them has neurological problems that causes her to run in circles and is also totally skittish to strangers and won't go near them. That would be good information to know before hand, right? 'Cause if you had known you would have gone over there a few times to meet the dog so she wasn't totally afraid of you.

This is just an example of irresponsibilities I feel like I have to deal with on a weekly basis. I love to help. But jeeze, HELP me HELP you!

I Know this is a totally bummer blog post. But maybe it's a good reminder for some not to have hidden agendas or maybe for everyone to reset their clocks to the times.

My message if I were a general authority: Stop blaming others for your mistakes. And also one of my favorite quotes: "My failure to plan ahead does not create an emergency for you today".

THANK YOU NEW YORK!

Dreamweaver

2010-08-05T19:34:00.004-07:00

So, crazy stuff happens sometimes. I've been dreaming a lot lately, which is bizarre for me to have this many in such a short amount of time. None of them are good (duh). But at least I don't wake up screaming covered in cold sweat like the old ones.

I have been getting spooked a lot easier lately though.. and that is even more bothersome.

I hate feeling vulnerable.
_____________________________________________________

On a brighter side, tomorrow, at 9 am sharp, I am having my FIRST polygraph done! I am so so thrilled! Don't worry, I didn't do anything wrong! I am actually getting deeper and deeper into the process for my internship (sounds so much more official than "volunteering", right?) for the Arlington Police Department's Victim Advocacy program. This is getting deeper into the process! I don't have much else to do I think. I will be siked once I finally get to go do training and then go in a companionship to "on scene" calls... and really... help people. While for the last couple years I've felt like this is the direction I was destined to go, I want to make sure this is what I really want to do. And what better way to keep your current job in great standing and just go and volunteer for what might be a future permanent career... right? I feel like this will finally make up my mind on the matter. Will the work suck me in completely where I know I will never want to do anything else for a career? Or will it not be what I thought it was? I'm super excited to find out!

I'll let ya know how the test goes!

-STACI

Updates

2010-07-20T20:06:00.002-07:00

Whenever I feel like I have stuff to post about, I get to this point and i realize that I really don't have anything else to say.

EXCEPT...

I love ANDREW.... with all my heart. He is truly the reason for me living everyday. He brings a smile to my face, and peace to my soul every time he walks in a room. I thought I knew what love was before him... but I was deadly wrong.

I love being married. We had a discussion about this the other day. How sweet is it to be married to literally your best friend? It's awesome. Stupendous. The best decision I have made my whole life.

I love my family. I wish all of us could live closer. I miss my sisters and their beautiful children.

I am currently in the process of getting a volunteer position with Arlington PD for victim advocacy. I am super excited and can't wait to start training. If all goes well, this could eventually lead to a hopeful job opportunity for me in the future.

Got to go, my super hott hubby needs my attention. Later!

Remember the Post from February?

2010-04-16T09:32:00.013-07:00

The weather was beautifully chilly! The picture above are the trees that are between us and the tollway.

Andrew got creative (after seeing a neighbor) and started using our dust pan to shovel snow!

My car was pretty elaborately covered
The trees were mesmerizing... it was like the snow made a back shadow to make them 4 D
Area to the side of our building (golfcourse area)
The infamous graveyard behind our building... SPOOKY
The snow was definitely deep!! Came up to mid calf in this area!
A cute family of a mom and 2 young boys had a snowball fight and built forts the whole time I was shooting
The view from our balcony.
It gives me shivers just to think about it!

I love you guys! Enjoy the Dallas' record snow season!!!!

Yes, Non-digital cameras still exist!

2010-02-12T11:57:00.003-07:00

SO, really fun. Yesterday it snowed ALL DAY. No joke, ALL DAY!

Today, it is super bright outside because of all the snow. Luckily, it's not really icy out, just some packed snow still on the ground. The sun really can't be seen beyond the white mass of cloud cover. But all the rays are still bouncing off the snow. Once Fry wakes up and gets off my lap, I'll get my camera that has all my pictures on it and post some.

I'm also super excited. I woke up motivated this morning to dust off the bag that has my 1984 Canon SLR in it (My dad gave it to me a few years ago.) I couldn't believe how long it has been since I took pictures with it. Luckily, I still had one roll of unused film in the bag. I went out and took pictures of the snow and everything for about 45 minutes. I'm glad I did.

Not using it for so long, you forget, you know, how perfect it feels in your hands, and how smooth you get to manually turn the lens to focus your photo. You get to change lenses, normal, telescopic. It was unreal. I think it was just what I needed. It was fun to walk around the back of the complex, and people looked at me like I was a real photographer. It was fun. This camera isn't light either. So, when I ran out of film, I grabbed my digital Nikon out of my pocket, and started shooting with that one. It just wasn't the same: and I love my Nikon! Crazy.

I still think it's funny and kinda lame how everyone thinks that they are a professional just because they own a digital camera.... haha, You Funny! I am NOT claiming to be a pro, but I love the photos and experience of when I'm out shooting.

That SLR reminds me of who I am, and I don't want to forget it

SAINTS WON!!!

2010-02-08T11:56:00.001-07:00

I am so so excited for the Saints, and Bryan, and the rest of our family!!!

WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT THE SAINTS- WHO DAT! WHO DAT!

Trying to Scale down!

2010-02-06T10:51:00.002-07:00

Hey guys! Just so everyone knows, I've started a much smaller, (I mean, how much smaller than this one can you get?) goal-oriented blog. It's titled "Weigh In". I am trying to lose weight, and so far, have has some success! 10lbs! Woohoo. I am no where NEAR where I want to be, but I thought it would be a great way to record the different ways that Andrew & I are changing our diets to get more healthy!

http://staciscalesdown.blogspot.com/

Andrew might make a random appearance or two on there if he wants ;)

Anyways, it's a path of CONSTANT VIGILANCE to lose weight, and we both want it to happen! So, we are trying multiple ways, including diet mainly right now, and then soon will come exercise!

There are several things in the future that we are gonna need to be ready for, and we need to be in shape!

Thanks for the support guys!

Crazy Crazy!

2010-01-16T12:06:00.010-07:00

Well- now that the Christmas season is over: I have some photos to share! first off, it snowed twice this season! Once on Dec 2nd, and again on Christmas Eve! It was so cool! -Also so cold- ad yet, the ice was terrible!! This is the view from our window:

On Christmas eve we spent the evening at my parents home. This photo makes me melt. I couldn't find Andrew for a few minutes, and once I went to look, This is what I found:

Isn't that adorable? Man

Also, for Christmas, Andrew promised me a cat! So, we went with a family in our ward, and Andrew helped pick out the perfect one:

We still haven't been able to name him. However, he is very lovable, chill, and handsome!!! He loves to be in your lap, especially when you are trying to accomplish something!

He is all black except for a little white spot on his chest. He is a cuddler:

Yet also mischievious!!! haha

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Money has been EXTREMEMLY tight lately, which has meant that we spend every night indoors and dinner at home every night. Which, is fine, except we both love eating out. We have been really good so far, and Andrew asked me to go on a date with him to Red Robin last night.

Dinner was great, the food tasted awesome! However, the closest Red Robin to us is about 35 minutes away. However, you guessed it, that campfire sauce keeps Andrew coming back! So, we went and it was fun to get out of the house. However, we missed our exit on the way back, and ended up getting seriously lost. It was fun though. We had no where to be, so it didn't make much of a difference.

We ended up in Los Colinas, and it was so fun! Andrew ended up finding signs to the Las Colinas horses. It was so fun! We were drenched, but fun.

Obviously, Andrew had fun playing in the rain.

And I also have a picture like that above from the last time I had been there! haha.

Needless to say, we were soaked from the pouring rain, and my socks were wet. Seeing this, I decided to go puddle jumping. I figured it couldn't get any worse. It was a lot of fun. We also parked somewhere behind these buildings and took about 5-10 minutes to walk back. fun stuff!
Please ignore my stupid face in this picture, haha:

Not that I've forgotten, but last night reminded me of all the reasons I fell in love with Andrew in the first place :)

Love you guys! Hope your new year is going great!

Holiday Blues

2009-11-28T09:51:00.003-07:00

So, last year, I was a bit saddened that I could not be around my parents and brothers for Christmas. Andrew and I had only been married about 2 weeks before we spent Thanksgiving with his parents locally in Mesa. The only thing that really surprised me was that his dad made me a gluten-free PUMPKIN PIE. I couldn't believe how good it tasted.

We decided this year that making a gluten free pumpkin pie the night before Thanksgiving was going to be a tradition for us. After much trial, and 2 stores later, we found the "Libby's" brand P. pie can filling and I made it at home at about 10pm! However, since the crust was going to be super tough & time consuming to make, We bought "tartlet" aluminum holders (They look like the aluminum pie holders, but they are like 4" across and tiny). I made 7 tiny pies w/o crusts. However, I decided to get original. On 4 of them I decided to crush pecans and placed that on the bottom of the pie. It actually turned out SUPER good! So, we will now have baby pumpkin-pecan pies every year for Thanksgiving :)

I know the holidays are supposed to be "merry & bright", but I always feel that at the end of another year, a little down. For some reason, money always has to be tight by Thanksgiving, it is not variable-- it is a definite. All I want to do is buy my husband, family, and friends wonderful gifts, but as the dollars add up, my guilt drives home too. I know it doesn't matter how much things cost, it's "the thought" and all that crap that counts. lol. IDK, I guess it's just 'cause the holidays remind me of all the things I can't have anymore. But, I also have more now: I.E. Andrew :)

Oh yes, and I am also so proud of my friends and friendly.

Jessica, just got back from a trip to Miami with her current work (They had some kind of meeting or something). She is also working super hard in order to earn a trip to Brazil next year! I know she can do it; she hasn't missed an 'earned' trip yet! Talking to her made me a little jealous: A few years ago that would of been my dream to travel the world like she does! Europe, Ireland, Miami, Brazil... how cool is that? I'm so proud of her!

Christy,
Even though her Thanksgiving went to heck and fell through the morning of: She still remembered what Thanksgiving is all about: She called and talked to us individually that day, seeing what we were up to. She also made the best of it and took her beautiful family to 'Cracker Barrel' for a turkey dinner! Go Christy!

April,
She and Drew have worked really hard and after many attempts, have finally gotten a beautiful home that they and they're 2 amazing children get to live in. I am so happy for them. They will be so much happier in a big house instead of a cramped apartment! I'm also super proud of her because of how she raises her kids. Autumn can sing and recognize letter of the alphabet. She is barely over 2! She just takes so much time with them and not only has fun, but teaches them as well! I hope I can be like that when my time comes.

There are so many others that are doing amazing things right now! If I wrote them, No one would finish reading! It just makes me wonder what I'm doing to help others around me as well.

On a NEWS UPDATE:

Andrew and I stole a great deal for a 2 bed 2 bath apartment, 1130 spacious square feet of perfection! (haha, now if only the woman who lived above us would get rid of her 70 lb. dog-- It WOULD be perfect!!) The amount of room is just perfect for what we have :) The apartment is brand new, never been lived in. It has great freeway access and parking. It's great. We are still trying to finish hanging up all our photos and art on the walls, and also arranging everything. WE are almost done! Hopefully we will sometime soon!

I've also quit the security guard post that I've been working for the past month. I have never quit a job so quickly, but jeeze it was terrible! It is a part of my life that I would like the forget instead of dwell on. My NEW job is with Bryan. His chiropractic office is a little hectic right now, and he has asked me to come work full time with him! His office is only 15 minutes from the apartment, and I could sleep in till 8 every morning (Instead of 5:30 with a 45 minute drive!) I would also have Friday, Saturday, and Sundays off! 3 day weekend EVERY weekend?? SWEET! I'll take it!

So, Monday, I start full time. My old schedule was horrific: Wake up @ 5:30, get to work by 7. Work till 3, then go straight to Bryan's to work till 7. haha--fun right?? No.

Yesterday I got to wake up @ 3:45 to be at my mom's by 4:30AM! Mom, Adam, and I went shopping to Walmart and Then Target! It was way nuts! Adam stayed by me to keep from getting trampled, we got a lot of cool stuff at a sweet price! Whew! Then I went to Bryan's office to help reorganize a few things, mainly his inventory and front desk. I don't really believe in "Fungshui" or however you spell it, but there is something about having clear desk space and thigns in alphabetical order that really let me relax!

Talk to y'all later, I've spent a little too much time on here!

Lust for Furrr

2009-10-06T14:06:00.003-07:00

I just thought I would share how I think it is very interesting that people have such a desire to care for animals. I thought we wanted a puppy, got the terror, then got rid of that screeching nightmare within a month. I'm already begging for a kitten for Christmas... what if it's nuts?? My mom and I went to Petco today to buy dogfood and there I was, staring at guinea pigs... then ferrets (the ones with the little face masks are soSoooo cute)...

and then I was thinking about buying an iguana (only $30!!) but then I realized they live FOREVER and they emanate some kind of bacteria that can be seriously harmful to small children.

Then I saw the bearded dragons... you guessed it, I've wanted one of those for years... I walked past the fish and saw some cute TINY aquatic frogs (like an inch long) and thought they were sooo cute (ONLY $2.50!!). I realized I should just buy another beta fish.... but I couldn't think of where my fishbowl is among the masses of boxes.

Then I realized Behr (my cockatiel) was sitting at home... alone. "But he's not very playful" I justified.

Does that much turnaround happen to anyone else? Maybe my need to care for something is going off the charts.

I need a job, lol.

So True, yet so sad, Yet so funny

2009-09-23T11:04:00.002-07:00

I stole this from my friends facebook notes and had to share cause they made me laugh and cry at the same time... (I, Staci, tried to edit most of the bad words out, hopefully I didn't miss any :/)

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think
about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own
story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.

3. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be
going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction
from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch
or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that
no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching
directions on the sidewalk.

4. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

5. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be
ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

6. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix
the problem. Every kid in in the country did that, but how did we all know
how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's.
We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

7. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

8. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the crap was going on when I first saw
it.

9. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90
minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at
the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a
millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really,
really gets it.

10. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

11. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

12. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

13. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.

14. Was learning cursive really necessary?

15. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to
say".

16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger

17. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a prick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

19. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each
other?

20. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart!!

21. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

22. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

23. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

25. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

26. Bad decisions make good stories

27. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the
Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

28. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every
year?

29. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a
problem....

30. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

31. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.

32. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

33. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I
did not make any changes to.

34. While watching the Olympics, I found myself cheering equally for China
and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that
when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

35. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes
to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run
away?

36. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

37. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

38. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...

39. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. (Me: Don't discriminate!)

40. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

41. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

42. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
but I'd bet my butt everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3
feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

43. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

44. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

45. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone
at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and
then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require
such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's
nothing like being made to feel like a fat beast before dinner.

New Pic for Header!

2009-09-22T13:27:00.004-07:00

Well, Thanks to Ky & Lynaya, we did receive the cd with all the family photos form the Sanders Family Reunion... I was excited. Everyone took a lot of cute photos :) This was the one I liked of Andrew and I. The others all put me in "bad lighting", though, of course, Andrew looks ridiculously good looking in all of them!

I took this one, riched up the color a little, and added the blur edging.

No news yet :(

Crafts by Boredom

2009-09-18T09:35:00.005-07:00

Okay, So, as most know, I am still trying to get a job here. Still searching, even though I've had quite a few interviews. So, my mom was showing me these crafty-scrapbooky items. A welcome sign was the only one that really caught my eye. Even though it looks nothing like the original, I like it better. It's got my taste of earth tones and stars that I love. I also enjoy the "O" (made from a Winnie the Pooh honeypot!)

Frame: $20 on sale
Scrapbook paper book: $10 ( I only used 5 pages out of the 36 in there... that means there is plenty left for more projects!)
Time: 5 hours of Mom time (Her's took 6.5 hours though!)

The real reason it was so cheap is because my mom has a surplus of scrapbooking supplies, and a cricket, and at least a dozen cartridges... :) But I liked it: Here you GO!

Hum-Drum

2009-09-09T12:13:00.005-07:00

It's been... a rough week. A couple of weeks actually. No job=no fun. I constantly stress about not being able to pull my own way to help with finances. Luckily, we are not paying our normal $700 rent for a teeny tiny apartment... which definitely helps the situation. However, I have not quite felt like myself. I need to find work so that I can feel accomplished, and also, so that Andrew and I can get our own place. I love my parent's house. It's nice, cozy, decorated nicely, full of wonderful people... but it's not full of our things... our decorations... our furniture... our bed... our dresser... our tv... our pots and pans. It's slightly uncomfortable. I definitely felt as though we were going to have an easy time sliding right into the transition here. However, with my numskull Staples idiots... I wasn't able to transfer (This in NO WAY reflects my staples). But I did know that I was not planning on staying with the company forever. It's just not what I want to do.

I don't want to be the begger who turns away cold soup or anything... but I just got my degree, and I want to do something with it. I don't want to be the girl who gets a CJ degree then goes into real estate!?! That's ridiculous. Enough about me. As we can all see I'm under a lot of pressure from... myself. On happier and brighter notes. I have a few pictures to share.

April: I thought this was a hilarious scene as all three of them (+ ROCKY) are trying to view you guys on Skype. I thought it was funnny but also really sweet. Adam (+ME) really miss Autumn & Weston a lot. I miss you too :(

Andrew went with Adam and Bryan's kiddos to a canal to go fishing. Apparently as soon as you throw your line in you catch something. However, Andrew was strangely fond of his crowning achievement:I thought it was adorable...
After the fishing expedition Andrew displayed his babysitting skillZ....

How he got ALL THREE of them to lay down at the same time is unimaginable! haha. But it was adorable that they all wanted to be like him and take a nap... even though they were faking!

Anyways, the search continues... I can't wait to get the photos from the Sanders Reunion so that I can put our picture as my blog header! :)

HOWDY Y'ALL

2009-08-28T14:22:00.006-07:00

Hello everybody :)
We have only been here a few weeks, and already my accent is coming out. It's been busy, and slow. Last week we both had the week off (fancy that!) so we went to the Temple on Saturday. It was cool to see inside a different one other than Mesa's. We are enjoying: and the pride of the people who live here. We have already noticed how nice the people are, and how green it is. The humidity feels WONDERFUL. It's already rained at least 3 times since we've been here (2 weeks)! IT feels like paradise here. So obviously, a lot of changes have happened, the first HAPPY one is that we got rid of this:

That couch lived in my nightmares and my reality! *Shudder*

Oh yeah, short side story about our way here:

I had to go to the bathroom SO BAD! Andrew's dad said he 'knew a place' down some side road. Needless to say: WE GOT LOST.

This is the road we ended up following for some time: IT woulda been pretty if I didn't have to go so bad!

The good news is that we ran into this small store:

This place turned me into a pecan-lover. They had fresh turtles, roasted pecans... They were so good. The orchards we had just driven through were all (apparently) pecan trees for this store. Of course those two were FREAKIN' out because of the found memories of their pecan trees in the backyard in Duncan. They were super good, but a tad expensive.

Yes, we did get a puppy, stupidly. We named him 'Jackson'. He was CUTE, but he was trouble, may he A.I.P. (Adopt In Peace). We put him up on craigslist and gave him away on Wednesday.

The one thing I really loved about him, he was a snuggler. I miss that a little... but I also have stuffed animals that can do the same :)

Good news is, Andrew was able to transfer to another bank. I have a phone inteview on Monday for a Staples, closed-door facility in Irving. It sounds super awesome and it's "salary" based. I already have numbers in my head for what I'll accept. Otherwise, it won't be worth my time for all the toll-roads.

Hope you all are doing well . :)

2009-07-27T21:43:00.003-07:00

Hey Heather, I would like to see your family's blog. I noticed that I hadn't seen any new updates lately and then noticed your last post I could see was the one that said you were going private! I miss reading yours!

Andrew and I are quite nervous, and quite excited at the same time. We feel it is our time to leave Arizona.

I was talking to a customer today about the move. He said something like, "Well you were meant to come here, I'm sure of it."

"Oh, I know I was meant to move here. Stop here, just for a little while. I graduated high school here, college here, I found my husband here. I know I was meant to come here, but we weren't meant to stay here."

He just nodded along. He was in a remarkably solemn mood for the occasion.

I think it's funny how at work people (customers) keep saying "Your movin!?! I'll have to make sure and come by one last time before you go! That's a real shame. We're gonna miss you. I'm sure the store will too."

We'll see.

Andrew and I were laughing the other day about how on my last day I will probably tear up a little, be a little sad when people say goodbye for the last time... that is until they call me to the back and present my cake.. which will probably not be gluten free. lol. It'll be fun anyway. I'd be surprised if they actually found me a GF cake. Watch them by me cookies or something-- way easier.

16 more days.... SIXTEEN MORE DAYS!

I am sure to try and spend as much time as possible with my neices/nephews/and sisters. I love you guys. My friends too ;) Jessica, I will miss you enormously.

2009-07-25T12:23:00.002-07:00

I've been feeling... nostalgic lately. Even though it seems like we don't have much time to just sit and think quietly amongst ourselves anymore, I still find a few silent moments at work between jobs and customers.

Yesterday I randomly started thinking about how much my parents must love us kids. Andrew and I have only been married for 8+ months, and I can see why some couples decide to have kids really soon after getting hitched. I am starting to get really excited bout having a baby "bundle of joy" that hopefully will be ridiculously good looking and have the dimples and bright blue eyes of his daddy. It'll be nice, once we establish residency, that we will feel as though we have roots somewhere. A firm footing. Somewhere that eventually we will start our family.

Anywho, started thinking about when I was younger, and for some reason the memory of me standing in the kitchen (I believe it was the one on Paddock) and listening to my mom on the phone talking to my dad. I was young because I could barely see over the counters and they were talking about 'The Lion King'. I remember I had been collecting the McDonald's toys, trying to get the whole set... plus I was totally into Mickey Ds. I remember my mom telling my dad that there was a McDonalds on the way home from his work that said that the toy in their stores' was one of the last few I needed (I think it was "Scar" actually!). My dad said sure he would pick me up a 'Happy Meal' and try to make sure it had the right toy in it.

Simple. Random Acts of Kindness.

Now is that good parenting or what? Some might say they were totally spoiling me by calling 20 McDonalds just to find out if they had the toy I wanted. However, I don't remember begging them to look it up, I remember asking if there was a way to get the last ones. Then I could see my mom grabbing the phone book and start dialing. Spoiled? Maybe. But I saw pure love in this memory. For them, they might remember this incident and think "It was just a toy". But do they know that I still have that set in one of my tubs in the closet? Maybe not. I'm 22 now and long past the days of collecting 'Happy Meal' toys, but I can still remember how kind my parents were to me, just trying to take care of me.

This brought a tear to my eye as the last of the memory faded into black and I was brought back into my work reality of florescent lights and running copiers. I sent them both a message about how glad I am that they are my parents and that I know they sacrificed a lot for us kids to make sure that we were always taken care of. They raised us right: and look at us now! 4 out of 5 already married in the temple, 3 out of those 4 have kids, and my parents posterity continues to grow in righteousness. It's enough to bring tears to anyone's thoughtful eyes.

Thanks Mom & Dad!
Love You Long Time.

Sunday Sunday SUNDAY!!!!

2009-07-18T23:27:00.002-07:00

Tomorrow... is D Day. lol. Not really.

Literally about one month ago I asked by a member of the Relief Society presidency to give the lesson in RS for this week. Chapter 37: Charity. Andrew gets a call as we are laying in bed this morning at 9AM to hear his Elders Quorom President asking him to give the same lesson tomorrow as well. 4 weeks verses 24 hours?

Andrews explanation?

"That's the real difference between Elders Quorom & Relief Society."

Wowzas.

Wish me Luck!

Discouragement is a Brawler

2009-07-13T17:17:00.002-07:00

I'm so tired.

I don't understand.

I want to walk away.

I wish I could sleep.

I've forgotten my will.

I don't want a fight.

What more can I do?

ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIN'... JUST KEEP!

2009-07-07T22:06:00.004-07:00

Well, if it totally was not official when we signed our "Notice for Non-Renewal" with our apartment complex, it is official now! We called Penske tonight and reserved a truck & other miscellaneous items (car hauler, dollie, blankets). I'm getting kind of nervous. Don't get me wrong, I'm still siked, but a little nervous. What wasn't already in clear plastic totes, is now in cardboard boxes. We have probably 2/3 of our apartment already packed away. The only stuff left is some clothes, the kitchen & bathroom.

Mom & Dad are suppossed to be getting a call from "Eric the Realtor" sometime soon to set up some times to see the 2 houses that Andrew and I are totally interested in. I'm a little nervous that the house isn't going to work out and all this stress, paperwork, investigation, and time will be for nothing. It's practically a "day-mare".

These are the two houses we are deliberating:

Even though I've always had a "dream house" of red brick. I really am looking forward to seeing the grey one. I think it's pretty :)

Happy 4th

2009-07-04T22:18:00.004-07:00

So, this morning was fun. Andrew and I awoke early to be at the church by 7 so that we could decorate the car. I forgot to take pictures--(I KNOW!) But we taped two small flags to my baby antennae & we had a small string-banner-type-thingee.. that had 8 small plastic flags that were sttached by a thnner white plastic string that we tied from the driver's safety belt holder around the back windshield and then tied to the safety belt holder loop on the passenger side.
Then Andrew led the bike parade in the 'stang w/ the windows down blaring patriotic music. we drove through a nearby neighborhood. ALL the kids & parents decorated their bikes! It was SOOO fun. I was really surprised. I didn't think a lot of them would- but they all did! So fun! I was the "safety supervisor" and would bring up the rear on Smurf (my blue motorcycle). Well, go figure all the ones with training wheels were left in the dust so I stayed behind with them. It was really fun! It was like herding little duckies & I was the Momma! When we came to Houston (which isn't a main road but it is off a main road and does get some traffic) I blocked the road w/ my bike so no one would pass so the wee-little-ones could cross the road in safety. i think that's when I felt like a duck momma the most! haha.
There was a short program and brekfast afterwards. It was tons o' fun!
After that, we didn't have to clean up b/c there were a million others helping, so we got to leave a little early. We came home & I ate some cereal before Andrew & I headed over to Staples. We bought this SWEET mahogany apothecary table for $40(normally $200)! No joke! It is sweeet! We had fun trying to shove it in the trunk with 110 degree murderous sunlight. We drove home at 35mph going 6 miles on side streets & we only hit 1 red light! It was nuts. haha.
We called the Texas folks to see how they were doing. They said it'd be okay with them if they went and toured the couple of houses we are seriously looking at. Everything with our loan applications are going well and our realtor is super nice and helpful! We talked to Adam for a moment and he had NO IDEA that we were moving there! Nuts huh? He thought we were just visiting. lol! I'm excited to come out and live by them all. It'll be fun.
Right now I believe the timid dates for the "Sanders Reunion" is the late night (like dinner time meet up/start) of Friday, August 7th through Sunday August 9th. We would leave with our Penske truck Monday the 10th and try to drive... and drive... and drive.
Well, I have loads of frames to take care of and pack (if any of you know how many frames I have, you understand!) so I better go

HAPPY 4th!!!

Wotcher!!!

2009-06-15T17:16:00.002-07:00

All right. I'm ticked. i just spent 45 minutes writing this post & when I hit "PUBLISH" it brought up an error message. STUUUUPID!

The Nights are Short & the Days are Longer

2009-06-06T13:20:00.009-07:00

Andrew & I have tried to eat "healthy" lately. We have cut down going out to eat & makin more dinners at home. At the present we go out to dinner Friday night for a "semi-date night" and maybe once another time if we don't feel like doing dishes. haha. We are trying to be a little more healthy, and also save money for the move. Here's an example of our dinner the other night...

Before: Grilled Chicken Salad

After:
Here is Andrew's plate: *Smile*

I was craving cookies Sunday so I made a batch of GF chocolate chip cookies. After the first batch there was a chunk left that could probably make 3 cookies, so we made a giant one...

Soon all the other cookies were afraid.... (Sorry the stupid image won't rotate)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As some of you know, Andrew has been playing Stake Men's Softball for the pat month or two on Tuesdays/Thursday night. This morning was the championship! Andrew unfortunately had to work. We won in the 8th inning by one! It was an AWESOME game! I made me, Andrew, Shellie L, & her husband (Coach Lopez) tshirts for the "HARRIS HEAT". I also got the below 3' x 9' banner donated by Staples! IT was fun :)

Pulling an "APRIL"

2009-05-22T19:33:00.004-07:00

Yeah yeah, I want to save money too. This will probably be my only post though! haha. I tried and did pretty good for my first try!

Here is my trip to Safeway:

SPENT: $23.52

SAVED: $20.54

And now I have my lunches for the next 3 weeks! WOOOOHOOO!!

My first trip was to Basha's

SPENT: $28.68

SAVED: $29.68

AND THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE!!!!

haha. All the Hebrew National's were all on sale for 50% off!!! WOO & HOO!!!

Out of Africa!!!

2009-05-10T19:44:00.012-07:00

SO, This is actually making my blog out of order! However, on Saturday we traveled 45 minutes back towards Mesa to get here. It wasn't everything we were expecting, but it was a good one time experience. :) Here's a picture of the love of my life outside the doors.
Here we are waiting for the tram to take us up the mountain to see TIGER SPLASH! It was wicked hot though.

For 1/2 an hour there were 3 guys trying to lure the big cat tigers into the water. They eventually got both in. THis one's name was "Rejoice". She was huge. She looks big right? But check out the next photo!!

I took this one so that you could kinda see a perception of just how big this cat was. Compare her size to the fairly large lady by the fence. That cat is HUGE!

After the TIGERSPLASH we waited in line to go to a SERENGETI TOUR where they drive you around where animals actually are. Here is the Zebra herd: (this is the cute lil' calf)

I was actually the most afraid of the Ostriches... They were huge! And the guy said they peck pretty hard! I had both of them staring at me over the lip of the open bus thing... and it was pretty intimidating!

This was the giraffe that I was hoping to feed.. however the guy couldn't lure him away from the fence.

After the Bear swimming show, we walked over to the CROC POT where they were feeding this little guy:

We got some cool photos. This place was expensive though! It was pretty cool though. If you want to see a part of BEAR SPLASH! Here you go!

A College Graduate!

2009-05-06T17:52:00.002-07:00

Wow, I graduate in 2 days! Woohoo!!! It is an awesome excitement. I'm pretty sure that I wo't really feel like I've graduated until Andrew goes back in the fall and I don't.... & don't feel guilty about it!! Woohoo

This also keeps reminding me how soon August is coming. I've started packing up some loose stuff and frames that never made it on the wall. I'm exhausted, but still trucking. Literally the home stretch! The only thing Ihave left is tonight I have to do a final for my online class. It might be semi-difficult, but I think the teacher "likes" me and knows my style of "A" writing. lol.

I got my haircut today... it made me 1/2 hour late to class-- but I just don't care, haha. It's time for summer and graduating! Parker's birthday party is tomorrow night! It should be fuN! They are buying a HUGE chick-fil-a nugget tray... Yum (for everyone else). That reminds me: I am actually really hungry. Andrew was a doll and brought me Chipotle for lunch. I ate enough to make me full (which is a change). And I got really, really sleepy at work. I think I can sleep with my eyes open-lol. When I was covering someone's lunch break by being cashier I had a long line of people, and then I looked up to see a guy standing in front of me with a trashcan over his head.
My first instinct was that I knew him and he was hiding his identity. I was right. PHIL took off the black trash can and laughed. He couldn't believe that I still worked there! lol. He was in a class or two with me last year trough the NAU program. He still thought I was cool even though he drove an Aprila at the time!! Said that he had actually started collecting, fixing up, then selling bikes since the last time I saw him. I thought it was his wife's idea, but I think he is just trying to buy one really awesome bike instead of several pretty good ones. Anyway, he ran into me at Staples about 8 months ago and said hey, we gotta go riding. Never heard anything. Andyway, he wants to go now! Pretty darn funny how you run into people. He actually said he wants to give me a job. I'm hoping it's not something lame like ZRII or xango juice or something. He said he'd call tonight. we'll see whats going on.

I just realized how tired I was. It is frickin' 104 degrees outside and I'm out riding around like an idiot. Oh well. Just a few more weeks of this summer madness and the AZ heat "CAN'T TOUCH THIS" no mo! haha

I'm really grateful my parents came up for the graduation... even if it was just an excuse to come visit the grandkids. lol. it's ok. It was nice to have someone sitting by me at the dr's yesterday.

So, the dr. has decided to start loweing my predizone. Which is AWESOME. ... since I've gained 35-40 LBS since I've gotten back on it. I'm ready to fit into my clothes again. This sucks being uncomfortable all the time. Next week I get to go to the eye dr. AGAIN to get an exam for new prescriptions... so I won't have to squint so much and have headaches so often. It kinda sucks. But it will all be over next Friday! New contacts & maybe glasses! Woohoo!

Anyway, peace and love peeps... peace and love

-STACI!-

SENIORITIS

2009-04-19T20:42:00.002-07:00

So... because I'm a senior in college-- I think I should get a senior discount at Denny's or wherever else those things are given. How about a "Golden Apple" card from Applebee's. Why? Because I don't see why really old people get discounts for being old. YEA! They've lived to be 65! Give them some funds. Yet, we do not have military discounts until they turn 65 and start getting the senior discounts. Sounds unfair to me.

I have about 3 assignments left of the semester. Seriously, I think my brain has just gone "KA-PUT!" My capstone paper... is due the 27th. So, that's technically 7 days. Today I have been completely braindead. I am so tired. I don't feel well. I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I'm bored. I'm distracted. I just... can't seem to do it. Everyone says "How proud they are". I am excited to be graduating. Can't wait. I think the real reason I am having so many issues with these papers is because I know they're my last ones for a long... long.... LONG time. Just got a little teary eyed thinking about it. Yet, I just can't seem to get started on this paper. I actually took some time today to put all the little pieces together (Definition of terms, abbreviations, bibliography, abstract page, table of contents) and I have 11 pages so far!... Yet. I can't count the bib. pages so I'm down to 8. That means that I just need 22 more! I haven't really even started my paper. I have no meat. I have everything else that surrounds it done. I just can't believe that the "FIRE" hasn't been lit under my butt yet. It is due in SEVEN DAYS! I know I will finish it. I know I will. I won't let myself not finish. I just hope it's good. NO! I hope it's STUPENDOUS! This is suppossed to be "THE CROWN JEWEL" of my college career. I have worked way too hard to screw this last 8 weeks up. And what am I suppossed to do after I graduate? I'm already planning on getting a second job during the summer to help the time go by and to earn some extra cash for the move. That is a whole other ballgame. I am excited to leave here... SO EXCITED. I just am a slight bit nervous of my job openings once I get there.

Maybe if I wasn't so distracted by work... and the BOREDOM VORTEX it creates... or HOME, with laundry, dishes, straightening up... or other classes and their stupid filler assignments.... or helping Andrew out with his.... or MAYBE if I hadn't gottena call from a girl semi-last minute asking me to be on the STAKE ENRICHMENT COMMITTEE for an activity I won't even be in town for, I would be better off. I wouldn't be stuck thinking about it everyday, and having to make NINE posters for them. It's all rediculous. And I've worked REALLY hard on these posters... and they look like crap. And not only will I have to announce the activity to the ward and point out the poster in the Relief Society room, but there will also be one posted in the Young Women's room where Andrew teaches his class and the PRIMARY room! It is going to haunt me for the next 3 weeks!

I guess I sound really ungrateful about the whole thing. I should be grateful to give service. It's just so hard when you feel like the whole world is crashing down on you. It all comes down to this. After April 27th, after the paper is turned in and the presentation is over... I will either feel RELIEVED or FRIGHTENED! Let's hope it's relieved so that I can finish up the rest of my assignments that are all due the 1st.

I'm so tired. Sorry for the rant. I can hardly see the screen anymore. Partly from tears but mostly because my eyes have gotten really bad in the past little while... like a few weeks time i noticed how bad they were getting. I am getting them checked on Thursday though, Hope there's nothing seriously wrong.

L8R
SK8R

STAKI

So busy...

2009-04-13T17:30:00.003-07:00

I'm so busy. Andrew hates that word "What does that mean anyway??"

Busy: adjective

1.Stressed

2.Having too many things to do in too little time

3.Not sleeping well b/c you don't want to waste time sleeping

4. Constantly thinking about all the assignments or chores you should be doing

5. You don't know where to start

I just keep reminding myself-- This will all be over in 3 weeks... However, because of how fast I'm trying to get things done- shouldn't have to do anything the last week of class. Everything is going down April 27th... after that. I can breathe.

Andrew loves me this I know. Because he always tells me so...

"I love Andrew he loves me. I love my babe yes-sir-reee... He loves me and so you see- we are a happy family!"

"Andrew I loveee you ! Andrew I dooooo. Father in heaven has sent me to you... When I am near you, I love to hear you- Saying so softly that you love me too! Andrew I love you, I love you I do!!"

Yeah, we like to change around primary songs. haha. I figre it's not blasphemous if it creates a good atmosphere.

I guess I should stop stalling. Back to working on papers. Later

I know who my father is

2009-04-04T19:29:00.002-07:00

There is this crazy dude at work: We call him "Clayton". Lately he's been coming in twice or more a week to "work" with me. He is either nuttier than Mr. Peanut or bloody brilliant. I'm leaning towards crazy. He takes pictures of rocks and finds 'pictures' or 'carvings' in them. He is trying to link them all together to the same artist way back when. Somehow this is going to prove the existence of the 'Arc of the Covenant' and the actual location of Atlantis, and I wouldn't be surprised if it proved the family geneology of Big Foot. I don't know what they have to do with any of this. So Don't ask me. I was actually enjoying "playing along" on Friday, instead of acting interested then thoroughly annoyed. However, as usual, because of how much attention he demands, there was a line of people looking hungruly at me behind the counter when I turned around from the computer. So, he actually apologized and said I would be right with them. One lady said something to the effect of: "I just need to know if I can do this in the self-serve or if she needs to do it for me."
His reply?
"If you want it done right you'll have her do it!" with a HUGE grin.
Her reaction was almost offended, and my glare to him should of killed him. Did he really want me to take MORE time with someone else, making him wait even longer? Stupid. Anyway, seeing the look on the woman's face he laughs: "Hey, it's okay. I can say that! She's my daughter!"
The look of disgust on my face was enough for everyone to take a step back from the counter. I told him to leave the copy center area. I walked over to the women and as they started to describe their job, I completely ignored them and said "THAT is NOT MY DAD". They looked at me really confused. "He is crazy if he thinks he has any attachment to me."

He asked how much I made. I said "Not enough("to deal with you"<-I added in my head)." He said, "Ya know, when all this is set through you're going to come work for me." (" Not in your wildest dreams," I thought smugly. Slightly smiling at the fact that I'm not telling him I'm moving... so one of these days in August he is going to walk in and realize I'm not there to do his stupid little projects anymore.) He has promised me that once his portfolio comes together and he gets them to "the right people", he will buy me a GT mustang. I'm not keeping my hopes up.

Anyway, just wanted to say,

I'm proud of my dad and my lineage. I have good blood- not crazy blood. I've gotten a lot of good qualities from my parents-

Mom's:

kind smile
generous attitude
Nose
Honest care for people
Rosy Cheeks

Dad's:

Work Ethic
Laser-like focus (When I want it)
Southern Temper
Curly Hair
Want to work with my hands
Get going so we can get back

Love you guys

It's Been a Hard Day's Night... & I've Been Working, Like a Dog

2009-03-30T14:43:00.002-07:00

Well, here I am at work. How am I posting you ask? Simple- I brought my laptop and connected to Staples' free wifi. haha. My manager keeps patrolling around. But whatever. He never really says much anymore now that it's so rediculously slow.

So, it is finalized Andrew and I are moving in August. Our last day of paid rent is Aug 23. I think I'll want to book it the second week of August instead of the last week though. We'll leave it empty for a few days. Andrew plans on building a motorcycle "crate" for my bike. We are gonna try to load it into the back of his dad's truck with a couple of boxes of stuff. We are shipping my car. We will drive in the focus with a month's worth of clothes and supplies crammed inside. We will also be taking Behr with us in the car. We plan on loading up a "POD" and have it delivered at the 30 day mark to our new apartment. When we get to Texas we are planning to spend at most a couple of weeks with my parents- apartment hunting the whole time. Then we will tell the "POD" people where to deliver it. I am so excited. I think now that it is a definite go, Andrew is a little nervous. I think he is still excited though.

I'm going to try and transfer with Staples to a Hub Location (closed to the public copycenter where bulk orders are done). If there is not positions available I will try and transfer to a store out there. Then I will continue training for my physical testing with the PD's out there. Hopefully Dallas doesn't go on a freeze by the time I get out there. I already know Frisco has. Anyway, I will stay with Staples to at least have some kind of income during the "grace period".

Life is going to be changing real quickly here in the next little while. I'm excited to name this the last summer of AZ for me. However, I'm going to miss my sisters and their beautiful children... yeah- I'll miss my "other brothers" too (My sisters have GREAT husbands). However, Andrew and I just both feel that it is time to move on. Really, industrial wise, there is nothing left here for us. I know Andrew is sad to leave the bulk of his family, but I think the Texas scenery will help his day-to-day mood, and when he sees them it will be that much greater. And just for clarification, I'm not making him move. he wants to just as much I do. Ask. Everytime I bring it up I always make sure to ask in case I'm overshadowing his thoughts.

Anyway, I graduate in a little over 6 weeks! MAY 8th, 2:00 PM (Parker's B-day- sorry Nephew) NAU campus. It is gonna be awesome! I am sure I will cry, but it is going to be so rewarding to walk across that stage & grab that fake diploma holder Cuma Sum Lude (Idk how to spell it) & know that I grabbed that school career by the horns & wrangled it to the ground to make sure that I finished in the first four years & pulled it out with a 4.0

It was hard, but it was worth it.

Oh yeah, Andrew & I also spent all day yesterday cleaning piles and sorting through crap, and everything now has a place! I LOVE walking into the apartment now. I am a LOT less irritated when the apartment looks clean and nice and homey. I am so glad we were able to finish it. It's been a long project. But finally, everything has a place. I'm so excited. We have a HOME. woohoo! And the apartment looks a LOT bigger than it ever has. Andrew is great at reorganizing. Maybe I'll post some pictures of the new layout ;)
I am also glad we bought this wicked awesome shredder too. Thast thing ran for like 4 hours yesteday without overheating or skipping a beat! GO "MAILMATE"!

Anyway, thanks for reading. I know it's kinda jumping around. But :) You know me.

If I ever own a frame shop I'll name it "I WAS FRAMED!"

2009-03-21T23:46:00.003-07:00

So, I should be finishing my paper on GALILEO but screw it. I have writer's block at 11:46 now that my 44 oz. Dr P. caffeine intoxication has worn off. I'm very distracted.

Love

Andrew

Period (.)

He fell asleep in about 30 minutes today. We were suppossed to go to the Renaissance Fair (already bought the fricken $36 tickets). However, we did not end up going to the temple last night like I wanted. So, we woke up and went this morning. I got to see a Sign Language interpretor... Oh my. It made me miss it so, so much. I almost cried it was so beautiful watching the person move their arms to create meaning and phrases. Some of the words I didn't understand because they are temple specific, but I was actually quite proud that I remembered much of what was being shared. I think once I graduate, and things slow down a little, I am going to take more sign classes, just for fun. I know it kinda sucks and doesn't make sense because I have swollen joints and a right hand that is slowly deforming from my rhematoidal arthritic like Lupus. But I miss it.

Ya know those days, those certain days where you just ... feel like yourself again? Watching him sign, made me realize how much I missed it. Just like hanging up my art on our apartment walls made me realize my slr canon that is gathering dust in its case in my closet. I can't wait to be done with school and stupid staples and be able to live again. Be able to enjoy things.

I really hope DPD works 4day 10 hour shifts instead of 5day 8 hour shifts. It would be so so much nicer.

I get to watch Parker on Tuesday and I'm excited for that. If I can just make it through my Monday night class (capstone) I will feel a heck of a lot better. You guys all know how I worry about blowing my 4.0 the last 8 weeks of my 4 year college career.

Thanks for reading. I'm exhausted. I think I'll make Andrew move over and snag my pillow out from under him... the little theif. :)

Ambitions

2009-03-14T18:37:00.005-07:00

"DON'T GIVE UP. Not Yet..."

So... for now- Plan on Dallas.... DPD --- DALLAS POLICE DEPARTMENT.
Requirements:

6.5 inch Vertical Leap
14 Sit-ups in One Minute
300 Meter Run in One Minute 50 Seconds
4 Push Ups in One Minute
1.5 Mile Run in 19 Minutes and Nine Seconds

Doesn't sound that hard, right? Well, it is if you've hardly ever worked out and have no confidence in your physical abilities.

Well- that's about to change :)

Andrew and I are making a change. We are going to be working out 3 mornings a week. Sports and other activities will be on the off days. I'm really excited. A little scared, a little nervous. I love Andrew and he has been nothing but supportive. So-WATCH OUT!!!

Here comes the newest recruit (fingers crossed) for Dallas. Coming soon to the Dallas City near you: AUGUST 2009!!!

"Recenalities"

2009-03-12T21:23:00.001-07:00

So... on the road again. This time to somewhere fun!

Here we are in mom's living room

See the cute little shirt he's wearing??? Look familar??

Oh yeah... GANGSTA!!!
Let's Take a Moment of Silence for the Passing of Admiral Fishington... The Iron Finned.
??/??/07- 3/11/09

Rest in Peace Soldier

He truly did live in the public service life of a fishbowl

Later PEEPS

Man- It's March Already??

2009-03-03T00:11:00.002-07:00

Why yes, yes it is. I think I just noticed the date today & I... can't believe it!

Andrew's birthday is on Thursday! We are going on a trip TOGETHER to Dallas to see area, family, and have LOADS OF FUN!

Here's our tentative schedule!

Thursday: (ANDREW'S BIRTHDAY)

4pm fly out Phoenix (YEA!)
9pm ARrive in Dallas (YEA!)
Visit a little, play with the pup, take a look at the house

FRIDAY:
Drive around & look at the different areas, maybe see Aunt Karen & Uncle James, See Adam & his new girl-
PAPPADEAUX'S NIGHT! The Whole fam is expected to go out & celebrate Andrew's 23rd with us! He's so excited to try the grilled gator!!! WOOHOO!

SATURDAY:

SIX FLAGS!!! (WOOOHOOO)

We wake up, eat quick breakfast-hope in the car-- and off to stand in line before the park opens @ 10. We already have our tickets & parking passes! We plan to stay ALL DAY LONG!! WOOHOO! SO SIKED!

Then , after that exhausting day: head back home for some grub and good company.

SUNDAY
Go to Mom's Sacrament Meeting

Depart Dallas 3:05PM (*Tear*)
Arrive in PHX 5:25PM(*SCREAM*)

It's gonna be a super short trip but neither of us can take any school off...

SOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!

AND THAT- MY FRIENDS- IS WHAT'S GOING ON!!!!!

...

2009-02-10T21:49:00.002-07:00

So Many Choices....

Doctors... have never been on my good side. They set you an appointment, ask YOU to come 15 minutes early to fill out paperwork as to not "jam up the process". So, like a good "patient" at the dr's "PRACTICE" site, you show up, take the stupid forms that take you less than 1 minute to fill out. You sit... and you wait... you ask the front desk if they know if you need to take a urine sample b/c frankly---> you really gotta go!

So, you sit there.... and sit there.... and *yawn* sit there. Just as you decide to, then actually pull something from your never-ending baby-version Mary Poppins deep-purse, is when the door swings open and you hear your name by someone holding a clip-board and a stethesscope (however you spell it) around their neck. So, you shove everything else back in your black-hole bag and trudge over. Ge the weight check (every woman's dream).

You check the time as soon as the lady who gets your blood pressure and pulse exits the door and says "Shouldn't be more than a few minutes. SIKE!

The time is now: 3:21. Woah! Only six minutes late so far! So I'm thinking, maybe this'll go quickly, cause I got a million things I need to do. So I sit..... and sit... pull up my legs on the table indian-style and sit... and then lean back against the wall.... and lean my head against the wall and sit... close my eyes... start to drift... when BAM! You wonder "How LONG have I been sitting here?" You check the time. It is now, 3:58... and silently brooding, you decide to give it 15 mintues (to make it a full hour) before you unleash your version of gnashing of teeth and eternal racking. Time gets closer... closer... and at 4:05 you realize:

It is a GOOD thing they take your blood pressure at the beginning of the appointment and NOT at the end. OTHERWISE- you would be under the highest dose of blood pressure meds to "take it down".

Just as you begin to think of what the first thing you will start yelling at the poor unfortunate soul that you first see when the clock chimes 4:15, a *KNOCK!* on the door. Lo and behold, here strolls in the dr.

Seriously? Who made these people who commonly are known to have "god-complexes", the right to make me, their customer, wait an HOUR in order to grace me with their presence? Seriously? If you wanted to talk to me at 4:15- you should have set my appointment for 4:15, not waste an hour that I had to lose work for! Think about it, what OTHER "PROFESSION" allows that kind of delay and gets away with it? Airports? Maybe- but they'll give you food vouches if you complain. Restaurants? They'll give you free dessert. Corporate Execs? If you start that meeting an hour late, you betcha someone's job is toast.

So, I'm royally pissed that they waste an hour of my time, then make me pay buco bucks to let them "diagnose me" with ailments and wonder "Hmm.. I wonder why that med didn't work- let's look at taking this one... It is usually used for chemotherapy cancer patients, it does have a portion of what is found in ABORTION pills, you will need to take FOLIC acid in order to counteract the drug's destruction of your own. So, if you are planning on having kids any time soon, don't. Seeing as this drug will cause defects in the baby. (THAT's real comforting.) Oh wait, you're not on birth control? Oh, your other doctors thought it was a bad idea? Hmm... Well, you will need to be EXTREMELY careful. See, if you were to become pregnant, seeing as you would be taking a pill with certain abortic elements, it would be a very hard choice to make...It is going to help "stablize" your white blood cell count, which will reduce the inflammation. However, we will need to test your blood every 3-4 weeks in the beginning to make sure we aren't totally killing ALL of them and that the level doesn't get 'too' low. Then we will also need to monitor your liver.. seeing as you would hate for that to fail! Oh what's that? You almost had liver failure in 2005? Oh no biggie. As long as you don't have hepititus B OR C- You should be okay."

Is anyone else buying this?

Not Real Sure

2009-01-27T19:30:00.011-07:00

I... wish I knew what to say. Seems like everyday, I have so many things on my plate that I'm afraid I will miss something. However, I was going through my sD card, and here is our story so far:

Here are our pumpkins we carved a few days before Halloween. Andrew's is the one with the eyes on fire :)

Here is what the dude drew on my legs with lotion one week before the wedding (went for a pedicure). The left leg has wedding bands, entwined hearts... the right is a flower with "Nov 7th)

Here is one of the few pictures we took in Sedona...

He is definitely the cutest thing ever. He makes Santa look GOOD

Yeah... bought him a helmet as an early birthday present :)

And here is basically the first picture of me.. ever on my bike. I've only had her for a year :)

Anywho, thanks for looking through a picture history of the last several months :D

Babies & Kiddos Everywhere!

2009-01-15T18:42:00.002-07:00

So, Hello there.

Arpil... yeah, I spelled that the right way! Just had baby No.2 Weston! Ya know, I love kids, little ones. So I was sad that he was born Tuesday morning and today being Thursday, I felt like a waste of an aunt... :( So, I got to stop by after work today to visit with April and Mom. Let me tell you, I just think April is so gorgeous. Especially when I see her interacting with lil' Autumn. She is just So sweet with her, and she talks to her like she is an adult. I LOVE that. I want to do that. I despise baby talk. Anyway, back to the hospital--

So, April was saying how she could take me to see the baby. I was patient. Drew showed up, so he decided to walk me over there. Oh man. We walked into the dim light room, and Drew walked straight to a little plastic cradle. I peeked over the edge to see a little boy wrapped so tightly in a papoose of a blanet, all I could see was his head. He was facing the wall, so all I could see was his profile. As soon as I leaned over him to see his chubby little cheeks, I gasped. His little eyes peeked open and he started to move a little bit. I just wanted to pick him up and let him stretch out. His blond hair was cute and stuck to his hair. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that yes, this was Weston Hardy. Suddenly, a really overwhelming love came over me.

This boy, was meant for April and Drew. He was/is going to be Drew's little tag-along. I had the feeling that even though we don't know all about him, this guy was going to be great. He is going to be a loving child, a happy one. I can't wait to get to know him. He is beautiful.... *gulp* It... made me... want one. :(

Don't tell Andrew

HOLIDAY '08!

2008-12-15T18:10:00.004-07:00

So, I love my husband- yeah "HUSBAND"-still weird to say! It's our first Christmas season together. It's not that I'm nervous... or anythin'. I just miss my family. My sisters are still in the valley. Which, hey, I love them to death and I think I'm getting closer to them now that I can semi relate to their stage in life... Though- their's involve kiddos.

Me and Andrew have decided to stall on having children for as long as possible. 2-3 years maybe. No doubt we'll have the cutest kids on the planet though. I mean come on, have you seen our baby pictures??

Oh yeah- and they're gonna be happy! : D

Well, just trying to get into the habit of updating on here... we just got internet Saturday! WOOHOO! I'm SO glad. I haven't had internet since the end of AUGUST! JEEZE! It was painful!

Anyway guys, love you!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

<3 STACI!

Boys Night Out

2008-12-02T20:37:00.002-07:00

"Are you coming?" Brian asked.
"Nah," I replied, "I would... but I'm not a guy."
"Well, I could be a girl for tonight. Then it really wouldn't be a guy's night." (Brian)

Haha. I love that kid. When Andrew was telling me that he needed a "Wings Night out with the boys", I was more than supportive. Believe me, I understand that I can't fill all needs. I'm sure one of these days I will need a girls night out.... eventually. lol.

Ack. It's only been like... 2 hours. I miss him. I am so lame. haha.

Tomorrow's my 22nd birthday... Whew. So old. This past year has been absolutely nuts! I cannot believe all that has happened.

I'm afraid I may have hurt Andrew's feelings the day after Thanksgiving (Black Friday). When I sent a text to my friend stating "Do not get married... The 12 plagues of Egypt will find you." I didn't write it to be mean, I just wrote it because since we had been married. Everything has gone wrong.

We have both been sick since the wedding, me imparticular. I've had to go to a doctor twice. Then I was running to my car Friday morning at 5:20 am to get to work by 5:30 for the Black Friday Staples rush- when I found that my car was broken into. My whole driver side window was smashed to pieces. They didn't get away with much, but it still sent me reeling, and I'm still a little bitter.

Today after work I stopped in the office to file my complaint about the gate being open for a week straight at night. I was stern, slightly intimidating, and a little stubborn. I basically told them I was not leaving until I got a new parking spot closer to my apartment. I WON! After 3 months, this was my second try at getting it changed. I guess you just have to know how to throw your weight around. Anyway, now I have a spot that I can see from all the front windows of the apartment. WOOHOO!

Anyway, I think I'm gonna head home and see if he's home yet :)

Thanks for... reading?

haha

-REBEL!

I'm...

2008-11-24T20:55:00.002-07:00

I'm falling asleep. I'm drowning in rain. I'm calling your name. I'm washing you out. I'm taking a stroll. I'm hailing a cab. I'm breaking away. I'm never looking back. I'm not your savior. I'm not hanging around.

I'm just a girl. I've got one place to go. I've got a new life. I'm raring to go. I'm moving forward. I'm not letting you pull me back. I'm over this crap. I'm over the bridge. I'm done with crying. I'm done with your stunts. I'm done with your self-pity.

I'm calling you out. I'm realizing your lack of potential. I'm feeling sorry for you. I'm not sorry enough. I'm closing the door in your face. I'm not remembering your name. I'm erasing the number that connects you and I. I'm telling you I retract all feelings I felt. I'm seeing the truth. I'm seeing how shallow we were. I'm staring the future in the face.

I'm seeing him walking closer to me. I'm seeing the blue eyes that pierce my soul. I'm reaching a hand to grasp the hand I know. I'm hugging the body that keeps me warm. I'm smiling the smile that only he knows. I'm talking in whispers so only he can hear. I'm telling my husband, to always stay near.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Looking back on past relationships, they were all the same. All shallow, all were what I thought I wanted. I know what I want. I have him. He helps me clean dishes, and plays "Paper Mario" with me. He's the one that pulls me close at night and is willing to cuddle and call me all day.

I have a 'Southern Temper' that gets me in trouble every time. I'm trying to get it under control. I threw a fit last night and immediately afterwards, before he even knew that I was really throwing a tantrum, I was sobbing and begging for forgiveness. Want to know what kind of man I married? A righteous one. His suggestion? "Let's pray. I'll go first. Then it's your turn," as he grasped my hands as we knelt on the floor.

The prayer that came from my lips was a struggling one. It took a long time to start, and even longer to say all I needed. I knew it was my selfish pride and quick-temper that was my issue. I'm not very good at communicating when in conflict. I don't WANT to be mad at him. So, I have this internal conflict that rips me in two pieces first over what "objectively" is the right answer to the question (i.e. such as "Is it really fair that I have to do my chores and part of his??"). Then whether it is appropriate for me to be as upset as I am. It tears me up because I want to feel justified. THen I get upset because I don't even know if he knows I'm upset. It's all part of the "experience" of the first year right? I'm doing my best :)

Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment it up!

Whew- News

2008-10-01T00:55:00.006-07:00

Yeah- I'm engaged! It is sooo crazy to think about! Sometimes when it gets quiet... and he's laying his head in my arms.... It almost feels like it's not real. Has anyone else had that feeling? Sometimes when I'm watching him walk towards me, I get that "deja vu" feeling that I'd been there before. It's weird.

I'm totally in love, and now that it's 1 am, It's officially 36 DAYS!!! Woah! That's crazy! Still so much to do! I just... wow. I know it's him- without a doubt. That's what makes me excited- the only part I'm nervous about is the fact that I am so young. I feel immature in some ways- but I think I have just been trying to go against the sterotypes of all the lds girls I don't get along with, and now I'm one of them.
But hey, at least I'm actually marrying someone I am 100% totally, madly in love with. I'll devote my life, love, and happiness to him and our future together. Isn't it EXCITING?!

Ah, how do people deal with long engagements-> I'll NEVER UNDERSTAND!

Here's what I mean; (NO! It's not photoshopped!!!)

(I set this one up- SO IN LOVE!)

Thanks for reading guys <3 You

-REBEL

Will you ever be there?

2008-08-10T23:55:00.000-07:00

When the storm comes,
Will you be there to comfort me?
When I’m scared for what is to come,
Will you be there to put an arm around me?
When I need help,
Will you be there to lend a helping hand?
When I’m in doubt,
Will you be there to reassure me everything will be okay?
When sorrow has overwhelmed me,
Will you be there to give me a hug?
When all I see is through blurry eyes,
Will you be there to wipe away my tears?
When I call out your name,
Will you answer?
When, one day, I say ‘I Love You’,
Will you say ‘I Love You too’?
When the storm comes,
I will be there to comfort you.
When you’re scared for what is to come,
I will be there to put an arm around you.
When you need help,
I will be there to lend a helping hand.
When you’re in doubt,
I will be there to reassure you everything will be okay.
When sorrow has overwhelmed you,
I will be there to give you a hug.
When all you see is through blurry eyes,
I will be there to wipe away your tears.
When you call out my name,
I will answer.
When, one day, you say ‘I love you’.

"My Soul is Bigger Than Temptation"

2008-08-01T01:15:00.000-07:00

The last thought lingers, quietly.
longingly, wishingly: Please leave.
I need no despair, or help of lonliness.
Leave me be to vindicate my soul.
To grab with more than my reach,
yet the gleam of the steel
still escapes by inches.
One more lunge upon the dirt,
Please do not let me fall.
The world tugging on my ankles and laces,
The whispers of those turning to screams.
Leave me alone! I try to scream.
Yet once again, it shows unheard.
Until suddenly a hand extends,
and at once my fingertips touch the cool metal.
There is no time to think, only
w/ zeal to grab hold w/ my full strength,and pull
until the power to swing the other hand forward comes.

But once my grip tightens,
So also does the world's, and
the tugging becomes yanking.

And as the yanking turns to pulling,
my lips finally part &
my voice fills the air as the words
"I BELIEVE IN CHRIST"
come forth,
Reverberating the air, and the
waves turn to pierce the hearts of the world.

My tears falling freely to the earth,
the dirt turns to grass.
I pull myself to my feet.

I find myself alone,
where the darkness portrays a solid wall on each side of the path.
The dimness slowly becomes brighter yet.
As the light is so bright,
I look to my left,
to see the long pathway where the start is unclear.
I hear a far off cry:
"STACI! STACI! You're HERE! YOU'RE HERE!"
As I slowly turn to my right,
the path's end is but not too far a distance.
There stands my family,
and my love-
All waving their arms and jumping in celebration of the sight of me.

The tree wasn't elaborate, but
was the fullest, prettiest, and held the most perfect fruit.

No time to think,
No time to walk,
My right hand let go of the rod of iron,
to run with a new found strength,
into the arms of those who really matter.